


Don't Take My Sunshine

by saltedwounds



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alexandria Safe-Zone, Angst, Death, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Intersex, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Porn With Plot, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Smut, The Hilltop (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 01:30:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 26,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8824780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltedwounds/pseuds/saltedwounds
Summary: Carl spoke out just in time, making Negan rethink everything.





	1. Second in Command

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somewhat AU where Carl speaks out before Abraham and Glenn Die.

" _Don't_."

Everything goes quiet in Carl's ears. The lights from the cars shining on them blend together and he can feel every nerve in his body light on fire when every eye - both Savior's and his group's - land on him. His mind barely processes the one word he spoke, just loud enough over Negan's talking to be heard but still quiet and shaky. Now he knows he's in for it, but he braces himself and puts on the same steely look he gave the bigger man when they first mad eye contact. Cautiously, he tips his head up and looks at the leather-clad man.

"What...did you just say to me?" Negan inquires in a tone that's far from friendly, his footsteps drawing closer to Carl before they stop. The man crouches, now almost completely eye to eye with Carl who's forced himself to stop shaking for sake of bravery and not looking like a wuss. "I did not just hear _that_ word come off of _your_ lips."

Carl breathes in, slow and calculated as he chooses his next words carefully. "You did, and I said don't," he repeats the word through gritted teeth, his eye meeting Negan's eyes in a stare off. It's too late to chicken out and apologize, he's already spoken out twice and now he's gotta follow through with the plan he had formulated in a matter of seconds out of panic. He doesn't care that it doesn't make much sense and it's not fleshed out. Abraham had been mere seconds away from getting his head smashed in by a baseball bat named 'Lucille', Carl had to do something. Anything.

Negan's tongue pokes between his teeth and rolls over his bottom lip in thought, something Carl had caught on to moments into the meeting. "You got some serious balls, kid. I mean really, sayin' that to me when I have this baby in my hands." He presses the end of Lucille against the dirt, never breaking eye contact. His lips twitch into the faintest of smirks. "Go on, say what you wanna say."

"Don't hurt any of them. Take...take me. Take me," Carl's voice betrays him and quivers, cracks a little, but his face stays stone cold aside from the faint shaking of his body. "Just leave them, let them go. Give them a car and let them go home, I'll come with you."

"Carl-"

Negan holds up his bare hand to silence Rick who looks utterly terrified from what little Carl can see of him. "Shut up, your kids talkin' and I'm likin' what he's saying. Go on then, shoot me your brilliant plan to save your friends so their brains don't look like roadkill when I'm done with them. C'mon, _hit me_."

Oh does Carl want to. He has to grip his jeans to keep from swinging at Negan. It takes every muscle in Carl's body not to jump on the man and pound his face so hard he can't give that smug fucking smirk or that little sadistic smile. He composes himself mentally, his physical composure long gone now. "I'll come with you an-and do whatever you want." That's all Carl has, nothing more. And he starts to pray that it's enough.

Negan seems to think this over, head tilted to the side and back a bit as his tongue finds it home between his back teeth. Carl can see it prodding the man's cheek, making a little bump that Carl wouldn't loved to poke if he was still a child. He keeps his eyes trained on Negan's face though, licking his own lips as he watches Negan stand and stretch his legs. Then, Lucille is inches away from Carl's face and Negan is talking again.

"This little dumbass - this little ballsy ass future serial killer here...made me an offer I just can't seem to refuse. I can't find it anywhere inside me to say no, so...pack up boys, we're back to the Sanctuary. Leave Carl's family a truck so they can find us our shit in a week." Negan's hand comes into view and without thinking Carl takes it, getting to his feet as he glances back at his family - the people he's been with since the beginning. All of them looked terrified but he doesn't get time to even mouth anything before Negan tears him away, into the trailer where he's sat on a couch.

Something inside Carl stirs and wakes up, bile climbing up his throat. He feels the warmth drain from his throat and the Savior driving the trailer comments but Negan shuts him up quickly, settling across from the younger boy. Carl, who's now sure he's going to hurl all over Negan's boots (and he _really_ hopes he does), grips his aching knees and swallows the sick. He forces the burning feeling out of his chest and throat, taking a deep breath and rolling his shoulders back to meet Negan's eyes again.

"Who's nuts did you steal?" Negan asks as he drags a yellow mop bucket between them, positioning it between Carl's feet. He doesn't look upset or angry, just amused and a bit...proud? Carl can't place the look.

"No one's, I just don't want anyone else dying because we can't find even ground to stand on," Carl says, adapting his father's way of speaking much to his dismay. He moves his tongue around the inside of his mouth, palette dry, and he presses his lips together to hide the discomfort. But Negan notices.

The older man snaps, waving his fingers towards himself, and the driver tosses him a water bottle that was sitting in a cup holder. Negan hands it to Carl who gives it a skeptical look but eventually grabs it. The boy twists the lid of quickly and chugs the entire bottle in one go, Adam's apple bobbing and little pleased noises filling the trailer. He gets an even more amused look from Negan but ignores it, finishing off the bottle and panting heavily.

Negan sits back, Lucille propped against his leg. "Easy, kid, don't want you up-chuckin' all over our brand new van, now do we?" He pauses, handing Carl another water bottle. "Now, there ain't ever gonna even ground for us. I will always be above you and your's unless..." Carl's interest peeks but he stays quiet as Negan reaches his point. "...unless you agree to...become my right hand man. Second in command. Runner up for the throne. Take your pick, I want you for that. You got nerve and you're one little badass."

The youngest boy takes a sip from the second water bottle, this water colder than the first bottle. He doesn't really know what to say to that. If it keeps his friends and family safe then he'll say yes, no doubt, but he can't be entirely sure of that. He shifts a bit, eyebrows furrowing and hands tightening around the bottle. "You won't hurt anyone else?"

"Oh c'mon, kid, don't become a fuckin' softie on me now, not after your big act of bravery. Say they don't exist just for a few seconds. Would you be my second?"

"No way. No."

One of Negan's eyebrows raises but he nods, his tongue back between his teeth as he regards the younger Grimes with somewhat distant eyes. Carl isn't sure what this look is either. It makes him wanna crawl out of his skin but it's warm at the same time, making goosebumps rise on Carl's skin. Negan nods finally. "Honesty, I can appreciate that. Bring your little band of merry men back into the picture now. They stay safe, I don't take too much from them. You'd do it?"

"Why? Why me? Why do you want _me_?" Carl gestures around the trailer to the men standing around, some watching and some talking between themselves. "All of these guys look like they'd be a good choice."

Negan smirks. "None of them has ever told me not to kill someone before. I've heard beggin', pleadin', bargainin'. No one's ever just said 'don't' before, so pardon me for bein' a bit impressed by you. If you want I'll just throw you out of this van now and go back to take out those spineless pussies we left behind, you want that?" His tone goes from playful to harsh and Carl can't help but dig his nails into his palms. Negan pulls back a bit. "Didn't think so. So answer the goddamn question and I won't take out your other eye."

Carl's body shudders when he thinks about his missing eye, jaw clenching. "Yeah, if my family will be safe."

Negan's face breaks into a thrilled look and he makes small claps, cheeks bunching from how big he's smiling. It even reaches his eyes. "Goodie. And oh look, we're home."


	2. Exposed

Carl's spine prickles as he takes Negan's hand to step out of the trailer even though he doesn't need it. He stumbles a little and his hat bumps Negan's shoulder, falling off only to get caught by the bigger man who places it promptly back on Carl's head with a slight grin. One of Negan's arms wraps around his shoulders and they split away from the others, Lucille swinging at Negan's side and making the younger one acutely aware that just half an hour or so ago, that bat was going to sink into Abraham's skull. He shivers at the thought and Negan, with a little concerned glint in his eye, shrugs his jacket off and drapes it over Carl's shoulder.

"Can't have you gettin' sick," Negan points out and directs Carl up some stairs and to a door with a little barred off window. Negan holds the door open and Carl has to shimmy past, glancing up before stepping inside and looking around. The room is somewhat plain, mostly black with some colour here and there but nothing big. He sets the jacket on the bed, not wanting to touch it for longer than he has to, and sits down in a little arm chair.

This was a horrible idea and Carl knows it but he would rather this, sitting across from a man with a baseball bat with brain matter in it, than watching his friends be brutally beaten to earth. His lips part at the thought and he has to remind himself to breath in order to not freak out. His eyes flicker around the room, not exactly looking for an exit but more for something to focus on so he can calm himself down. Oddly enough he settles on Lucille, eyes getting lost in the pattern of the barbed wire and cheeks going a bit pink.

"Admirin' her, huh?" Negan asks and picks Lucille up, Carl's eyes following like he's be hypnotized. "She's a beauty, ain't she?"

Carl can admit he thinks Lucille would be one hell of a good weapon to have and he can definitely admit that she's kick ass but he shrugs to seem indifferent, pulling his eyes away from Lucille to meet Negan's eyes. "She's okay," he says and locks their gazes together to see the man's reaction.

An expression of hurt passes Negan's face and he leans forward on his knees to close the distance between the two of them, Lucille moving forward. The edge of Lucille catches Carl's chin and tips his chin up a bit. "Okay? My girl ain't just ' _okay_ ', she's fucking gorgeous and you'll say so. Come on, tell her she's gorgeous or you and her are gonna become real well acquainted, and we haven't even gotten to talkin' about what you have to offer me."

Carl's eyes get harder at the last few words, his hand moving to push Lucille away. "What I have to offer you? I'm already your second in command and you're getting half of all our shit back home, what else could you fucking-"

"Watch it," Negan warned and pressed the end of Lucille against Carl's chest until he was pressed against the back of the chair. One of Lucille's wires dug into the material of the younger's shirt, catching it and lifting it away from his skin. "Sure, I get your shit and your loyalty, that's all fine and fuckin' dandy. But I want a little more, just a teensy bit more."

"Fine. What is it?"

"Just you."

"Just me?" This sets every alarm in Carl's head off, telling him to get the fuck out and never look back. He doesn't move though.

Negan waves his free hand and pulls Lucille away, letting her drop by his side. He starts to chuckle, gripping one of his knees as he sits back down. "Ah, I can't...I can't do it. It's like talking to a birthday present! You gotta take that crap off your face. I wanna see what Grandma got me."

"No," Carl breathes, his hands shaking now because he knows that he'll have to take it off one way other another. Either he'll get pinned and the bandage will get torn off or he'll do it himself. He tries not to let his emotions take over but they do and his chest tightens, cuts of some of his air supply so his throat catches.

"You interrupted me, argued with me, insulted my baby girl, and now you're tellin' me _no_? Punishment. Do you really wanna piss me off?" Negan threatens in a dark tone.

Carl's shoulders shake and his lips quiver but he reaches back to untie the bandage, throat tight to the point of barely being able to swallow. He starts to unwrap it, his eye fluttering and looking down at his lips as tears form and roll down his cheeks in slow streaks. Self consciously he lets his hair fall in front of his messed up eye, resisting the urge to break into full on sobs.

"Get that hair out of your face, let me see," Negan persists and Carl obeys, moving the hair behind his ear to reveal the wound. "Christ! That is disgusting. No wonder you cover that up. Have you seen it? I mean, have you looked in a mirror? That is gross as hell." The smaller boy is almost sobbing now, shoulder shaking hard but Negan continues, "I can see your socket. I wanna touch it. Oh, come on. Can I touch it?"

Carl's knuckles go white from clenching his hands into fists, his cheek and chin dripping with tears but his mouth and throat still refusing to make any noise. Negan finally notices and Carl just barely catches the apologetic look on Negan's face that stays. It doesn't pass like most of his other looks, doesn't just disappear after a few seconds so he can continue making Carl want to disappear. It sticks, caught in every single one of the older man's features.

"Damn. Holy hell, kid. Look... I just... It's easy to forget that you're... just a kid," Negan says and his teeth catch his lower lip as Carl sniffles, wiping his nose roughly. "And I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything. I... I was just screwing around." One of Negan's men comes in but Carl blocks out the entire conversation, his eyes too caught up in watching Lucille again to calm himself. He can vaguely hear Negan saying something to him but it goes in one ear and out the other, not even pausing in his mind. Then Negan dismisses the guy and they're left along again, just the kid and the fucking baseball bat murderer.

Negan continues to talk about men 'breaking each other's balls' and then pauses, a little smirk on his lips. "What do you like to do for fun? You like music? I want you to sing me a song."

"What?" Carl asks in a partial hiss, voice barely coming back to him. He swallows the lumps in his throat.

"Yeah. You keep arguing and being a _little prick_. I want somethin' in return for that. Sing me a song."

Carl takes a shaky breath. "I... I... I can't think of any."

"Bullshit! What'd your mom used to sing you? What'd your dad play in the car? Start singing," Negan insists and stands up, swinging Lucille a bit as he heads to the space at the end of his bed.

"Okay, okay. Okay. Uh..." Carl licks his lips and starts to 'You Are My Sunshine', voice shaky and uneven but he manages. He flinches a few times due to Negan swinging his bat but finishes the song and sits there silently.

There's a pause.

Then Negan tilts Carl's face up with his bare hand, his finger under the younger boy's chin as he uses his other hand to brush the hair away from Carl's face. "You wanna be my sunshine, Carl?"


	3. Deal or No Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if this bar like place exists at the Sanctuary but for the sake of Carl's confusion I added it in.

"Your what?" Carl asks, eyebrows raising and pulling together in a look that must look like confusion or anger, or both. He's not entirely sure what he's feeling, whether its absolute loathing for this man or a generalized confusion over the question he had just been asked. That question, 'you wanna be my sunshine?', has so many meanings and so many answers, and every single one for Carl is 'fuck no' but he doesn't voice that.

Negan sighs and crouches, a little shorter than Carl as he keeps one finger underneath Carl's chin to direct him around. "I asked if you wanted to be my sunshine, kid. You know? Light of my life. The thing that keeps me going. Not ringing' any bells in that little fucked up brain of yours?"

"You... I... Like... _romantically_?" Carl's voice shakes at the word and he's not 100% sure that he even trusts any words after that. The idea is so bizarre to him that he laughs a little but covers it up with a cough.

"No, not romantically you dipshit. Not yet," the older man mutters the last two words and clears his throat, hand moving to fully grip Carl's jaw and force eye contact. "I was just jokin' with you, kid. I've got wives to fuck and you ain't one of them, unless you wanna be." He ducks to Carl's level again, their faces inches away.

Fear courses through Carl and his stomach twists into knots and his palms sweat and where was he again? His mind flashes to home, to Judith tucked away in her bed sleeping soundly and Michonne and Rick talking on the couch like nothing's wrong. Carl isn't with them, of course he's not. He's here, inches away from a man who smells like pinewood and leather and gasoline, and he doesn't wanna move an inch because for some reason that he can't comprehend...Carl enjoys this. He doesn't show it though, just stares right at Negan.

Negan's smile falters just a little, a hint of doubt passing in his eyes, and he slides his good hand through Carl's hair to hold it out of his face as his eyes examine the wound. "Leave the wrappings off, I wanna show you what we do for fun here," he says and pats Carl's shoulder before heading to the door.

Carl hesitates but follows obediently, like a little puppy being lured by treats because that's what he feels like. He follows Negan down a few flights of stairs and to a heavy metal door that has music blaring from behind it. He glances at Negan for a second and sees him smirking, the man's hand moving to the younger's back as he's ushered inside.

The room is dark with one little window near the ceiling, guys laughing and carrying on around near a pool table and a bar that looks like it's made of scrapped metal. Girls in skimpy dresses walk around too, carrying drinks or sitting in guys laps, and Carl is now sure that this room basically an apocalyptic strip club.

"Like it?" Negan asks, tapping Lucille against the toe of his boot.

"What is...'it'?"

"Well, we call it the Bar, simple right? Might as well considerin' the worlds gone to shit. But hey, there's booze and boobs."

Carl isn't really all that interested in girls. Back home, him, Ron, and Enid are in a somewhat open relationship but Carl's ever only done stuff with Ron and only in moderation. It was mostly just Carl doing stuff to Ron because he wasn't ready, and Ron respected that so things worked out pretty okay. Now Carl's surrounded by a bunch of girls and he doesn't want any of them.

"What's wrong kid? Don't like girls?" Negan inquires and grips Carl's shoulder.

Carl shrugs. He isn't entirely sure what he likes, though he does have a think for guys over girls but Enid was pretty. He sits next to Negan when the man sits on a couch in a little part of the room hidden by hanging fabric. He feels like he's in a 20's speakeasy with the girls and the booze and the laughter. Then he becomes away of just how close he and Negan are and his skin prickles, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. "I like girls but...I like boys... _more_?" He's not sure why he's speaking, he shouldn't be. He shouldn't be here.

The older man's eyes glint a bit and the arm resting on the back of the couch shifts, his hand gently wrapping a chunk of Carl's hair around his finger. "Well, kid, if you want-"

"I-I don't wanna...sleep with anyone," Carl rushes out in a panic.

"Not what I was gonna suggest but it definitely gives me a little looksie to the inner working of Carl Grimes. What, kid? You get asked to sleep around a lot? Tease the boys back at the compound? Hm? Gonna talk or do I have to keep guessing?" 

Carl's lips twitch and he shifts around, Negan's hand falling down between the couch and his back where it rests against his spine in an almost soothing way. "No, I'm... I... I'm a virgin but I... I never..." He takes a deep breathe. "Me and Ron - a boy back at Alexandria - we kinda...have a thing..."

"Oh?"

"Yeah like...he...we... I blow him sometimes."

Negan outright laughs, his chest shaking and his eyes bright. "Oh God, kid. You got yourself a fuck buddy! He ever do anything to you?" Carl can tell Negan wants to get more graphic but he's thankful when he doesn't.

"No. He doesn't. I don't let him. H-he tried to-" Shut up, Carl. "-tried to finger me once but I-" Seriously Carl, shut the fuck up. "-I got nervous and kinda chickened out."

Negan nods and hums. "Fair enough. So, you like blowin' him?" 

"What?"

"Did you like blowing him?" Negan spaces out the words and says then clearly, eyebrows raised.

"I-I guess so. Yeah, it was fun," Carl admits shyly.

"You want blow me?"

"Do you want me to blow you?"

"I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do."

Carl purses his lips and presses them together. He wonders. If he does and it goes well then maybe he could negotiate a little more freedom, maybe even make it so Negan only took a quarter of their stuff. Maybe he could even get protection. His throat tightens at the idea but he looks at Negan, chewing the inside of his cheek. "I'll blow you if we can make a deal after."

"After? Huh. You're the only person to ever suggest that we make a deal after, like you trust me just enough to think I'll keep up my end of the bargain."

"Will you?"

"Of course I will. I'm all for fairness. C'mon, let's go back to mine and we'll settle the deal _before_ you gotta use your mouth, alright kid?"

Carl gave a curt nod, nervousness bubbling in his stomach. He felt unsafe without his hat which as still in Negan's room. He felt unsafe in general but everything was new and sort of exciting. He just hoped he didn't have to see Lucille at work. He followed Negan back to his room and sat back in his arm chair, wanting so badly to just put his hat back on but resisting the urge.

"Now...what do you want in exchange for that pretty little mouth of yours wrapped around my dick?" Negan asks once he's sat down, Lucille leaned against the side of the couch within Negan's reach.

Carl thinks hard, knowing he needed to make the deal fair but also don't benefits his people. "This is why I wanted to blow you before we made the deal, so you can base what we get out of it on how good I do."

Negan seems pleased by this, his face somewhat expressionless but an impressed looking his eyes. "You're a smart kid, Carl. You know how to get what you want and I like that about you. But I seriously think you just wanna suck me off because you like it. What? You got an oral fixation? Like the taste?"

Carl's noise flares a bit. "So what are we doing? Deal or no deal...?"

"C'mere." Negan beckons Carl to him with two fingers, gesturing between his knees. "Let's see if your as foul mouthed as me, just in a _very_ different way."


	4. Holy Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shitty ending to the chapter.

Carl does as he's told almost immediately, moving forward and kneeling between Negan's legs. It's too late to back out now, too late to say forget it and just go back to being the right hand man for a guy who's brutally killed people. No. Now he's kneeling again but this time it's between the guy's legs with an excitement growing in his stomach and it shouldn't be. He shouldn't want to suck Negan off or be anywhere near him but he does for some reason, he can't help it.

"You-" Negan slides a hand through Carl's hair to make then look at each other. "-are gonna do a fuckin' amazing job or I'm gonna pick one of your friends to be Lucille's next drink, sound fair?"

Now Carl's terrified but he nods. He doesn't exactly know where to start so he just reaches for Negan's zipper and drags it down, the sound almost deafening in the silence of the room. He can feel his heartbeat in his ears and throat, palms sweaty and he drags Negan's jeans down just enough to reach the band of his boxers and pull those down too. And fuck, there it is.

Negan's cock is big. Not necessarily long but thick and fuck it's sort of hot. The man's already leaking, pearly liquid sliding down his shaft, and his skin is red and swollen. Negan catches Carl staring and smirks. "What? Like what you see?"

Carl snaps himself out of his momentary daze and leans forward, one hand gripping Negan's base and the other resting on his own thigh to ground himself so he doesn't get carried away. He hesitates before flicking his tongue over Negan's tip slowly, collecting the precum and spreading it around the swollen head. He can't deny that he likes sucking dick and he definitely couldn't deny that he was amazing at it; Ron had said so many times and Carl had eventually started to believe it. But Negan is bigger than Ron and he starts to worry about taking it.

"Shit, kid, you gotta take so much damn time? Fucking suck me already, I'm a busy man with a busy life," Negan reminds Carl, giving a tight squeeze in Carl's hair before he pushes the boy down a little so Negan's head slips past his lips. "That's it, c'mon. Show me what you can do."

Carl lets out a muffled sound and slides his tongue out a little to rub along Negan's shaft as he slowly, carefully, starts to take the man's cock into his mouth. Inch by inch. Second by second. His stomach twists and turns because this is so fucking dirty but Carl relishes in it. He loves the feeling of being bad in this way. He eventually let's his eye close, enjoying the sensation if Negan's throbbing length filing his mouth.

Negan let's out a string if swears and grips the arm of the couch with his other hand, head falling back. "Fuck, holy hell kid, if your hole is as tight and warm as your —" 

The door opens and someone enters but Carl can't see who with his hair hanging in his face. He knows they're staring, he can feel it in his back, but he keeps going just to please Negan and show that he's serious about the deal. 

"That's the kid from Alexandria, right?" Carl recognises the voice as Dwight's and his shoulders tense a bit, wondering if Daryl is there. Watching.

"Mhm. Mouth feels like a fuckin' pussy," Negan comments and taps Carl's head, gently pushing him off and cupping his chin with a few fingers. "We gotta cut this a bit short but what you did so far is enough to impress me. We'll talk on the way back to your little home, alright?"

Carl pants hard and his cheeks burn as he watches Negan tuck himself away and stand. He takes the hand stretched out for him and stands too, looking behind him to see Daryl and Dwight. His worst fucking nightmare just came true from the look he's getting from Daryl but he tries his hardest to ignore it, putting his hat back on and adjusting it. He doesn't bother with his eye bandage, knowing that it he kept it off and went out in public than Negan might be a bit more impressed with him. He's already agreed to be Negan's second in command, he needs the reputation to keep his people alive. His _family_.

Negan leads the way back to the cars and gets in, patting the space next to him for Carl to sit which he does. Carl stays as small as he can, hands pressed between his thighs which was hot. His jeans are tighter than they should be with the hard on in his boxers and he's ashamed of himself for letting himself get into that position. He was vulnerable and Negan didn't hurt him.

"So kid, how'd my prick taste? Hm?" Negan asks, his hand settling on Carl's thigh 

"I-its was good," Carl mumbles and then clears his throat. "Really good."

There's a chuckle and then a squeeze of his thigh. "You really are a little slut, aren't ya? Suckin' dick at home, my dick, maybe even some of the older boys. You do that, Carl? Suck some men off for extra chocolate bars to attention?"

"No. Just...just you and Ron."

"Ron. Hm. We'll have to pay him a visit."

Carl's breath catches a bit and he remembers. He remembers how he lost his eye and how that entire family died in one go. Up until this point he's forgotten. Now he feels tears again. "You're gonna be visiting a grave then."

Negan falls silent, all lightness in the air getting sucked out by those words. "Christ, I'm sorry kid."

 Carl doesn't even speak, just pressed his forehead against the window and watches the road and the first blur past. Since Ron's death him and Enid haven't been as close, barely spending time together and almost never making eye contact because both of them know it was Ron's own fault he died. It still hurts though, the pain still fresh in Carl's chest as he presses his lips togrther tightly.

Within half an hour they reach Alexandria and Negan pushed Carl out of the truck, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and humming as he swings Lucille. He approaches the door, Carl by his side, and grins. "Anybody home?!" he calls.

There's some murmuring from beyond the gates and they slide open, revealing Rick and several other people staring at them.

Negan grins widely, finger spreading on Carl's shoulder. "You knew Carl Grimes, now meet-" he steps away and gestures to Carl like he's a trophy. "-my second in command!"

Everyone watching then goes deathly silent. 


	5. Ain't No Rest For The Dirty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slow and awkward and tense.

Carl wants to hide. Find the deepest, darkest, dryest hole in the earth and curl up so he doesn't exist. He can feel every eye boring into him and his skin prickles and zings and he moves a bit closer to Negan's side for comfort. It's a horrible thing to do but he does it and Rick tenses. His father looks disgusted and disappointed and sad. 

"Aw c'mon. You all gonna stay quiet on me? You don't like 'im?" Negan asks and his arm slips from Carl's shoulder to around his waist. Possessive. "Well that's a bit rude, now ain't it? I take your boy, show him around my home, even make a fair deal and you still think I'm the bad one?" He tuts softly.

Carl's fingers, though much against his better judgement, gently the Negan's shirt. "Can I-"

"Go fucking hug him before I have to watch you two bawl like babies." Negan shoves Carl towards the group, resting Lucille on his shoulder with a slightly irritated expression. "Don't take too long, I'm not as patient as I look."

Carl stumbles and falls right into Michonne, hugging her tightly and burying his face against her shoulder as he feels himself and her start to cry. She strokes his hair, he grips the back of her shirt, and before he knows it the entire group is hugging him one at a time. All except his dad. And Carl looks at him, helpless and trying to convey that he didn't want to but he knew he had to for the sake of everyone here.

"Did he make you do anything?" Rick whispers once Carl has made is way into his father's arms. "Kill or otherwise?" Carl knows what Rick is hinting at and shakes his head because Negan didn't _make_ him do anything.

"Alright, back your ass over here kid," Negan orders finally and Carl obeys, pulling away to stand next to Negan yet again. He feels better, safer now that everyone he loves is near him. Negan taps Lucille against Carl's boot. "We're gonna sit down to a nice dinner and chat. Just talk a little, I've got some ideas and they're all thanks to Carl who worked my head a little and convinced me."

Carl's face flushes and only a few people seem to catch on, he's glad his father isn't one of them by the look of confusion on his face. The boy takes a few steps forward when nudged and starts to walk, Lucille occasionally pressing against his back to make him keep moving. He looks around for Maggie and Glenn but doesn't see them. "Maggie and-"

"Hilltop," Michonne answers with ease, glancing sideways at Carl. "Glenn is." 

"Maggie didn't...make it?" Carl asks, voice shaking.

Michonne makes sure they have eye contact before shaking her head but mouths the words 'she did' before turning away.

Carl fakes a sniffle and buries his face in his sleeve, allowing himself to be pulled into Negan's side. It's warm and there's that fucking smell again. He feels the weight of Negan's jacket on his shoulders, the feeling of a hand in his hair. Negan makes a soft shushing noise. "It's alright kid. That's a real shame," he comments as they climb the stairs to the house. "She seemed like a sweet thing."

Silence settles over all of them as Negan makes his way to the kitchen and looks through the cupboards and pantry. He hums softly, leaving Lucille leaned against a counter, and Carl thinks about how easy it would be just to grab the bat and smash the man's face in with his own weapon. But something holds him back. Something tugs at his stomach and ribs and nails him to the space next to the island, stomach pressed against the cold marble and hands spread over it. He wants to, fuck does he ever want to.

"I think I'll make spaghetti, does that sound good to everyone?" Negan mused aloud and Carl can tell he doesn't actually want an answer because he's already making the food. He looks almost normal in Carl's eyes, just wearing a white T-shirt and a pair of jeans with his boots. He sort of looks like a dad.

"Carl, why don't you...uh...set the table for our guest?" Rick suggests in a low voice but Carl doesn't move. He doesn't know if he's supposed to.

Negan glanced at Carl. "He's still your father, do it."

Carl gets all the utensils and stuff he needs before setting the table, eyes soft as he listens to a few people hum and talk amongst themselves to keep calm. He finishes setting the table and looks at Negan who smirks.

"Anyone wanna take a guess at what Carl had for lunch?" Negan says, eyebrows raised as he sets the lid on a bubbling pot. When no one answers, he continues. "Carl, here, had a nice big helping of my dick for his lunch, didn't ya kid? Yes he did. Got on his knees and put that pretty little mouth to work just to get you guys some more shit. Huh? Takin' one for the team."

"Don't talk about my kid like that," Rick hisses, Negan obviously hitting a nerve. Carl knew that he was a soft spot for his father, he just didn't know to what extent.

"Oh I'm not just talking, he did it. He fucking did it. Took half my cock in his nice warm mouth before I got interrupted."

Carl could feel the air in the room get thicker so he moved to sit down, rubbing at his knees and licking his lips. He can't do this and be brave. He can't look at his family and know that he could still taste Negan in his mouth. Feel the warmth on his lips and the weight on his tongue. He doesn't want it to go away though, and he definitely doesn't regret it because now he knows his people are gonna get more. So he swallows his nervousness and looks at Negan who looks so damn impressed with himself. Then he looks at Rick and everyone.

"Did you really?" Tara asks, her voice barely audible.

Carl pauses then nods. "Yeah. I did."

"Carl, c'mere for a second," Negan's voice rings out.

Carl stands, shuffles ovet to Negan, stands in front of him like he's getting inspected or something. Negan tips Carl's chin up, thumb gently rubbing the little flat part below the boy's lower lip. "You'd do anythin' to make sure your family was safe, am I right?" Carl nods. "Hm...maybe you should kiss me. Just to prove that point."

"I - what - I'm-" Carl's cut off by Negan's thumb pressing on his lower lip, a glint in the man's eyes. "You're joking. Fuck you," Carl mutters, a bit terrified.

"Ooh, you got quite a mouth, don'tcha kid? Watch that tone, Carl, or I'll cut that talented little tongue out." Negan releases Carl and turns to keep cooking.

Not too far after all of them are sat at the table. Most of them. Some people Negan sent away because they didn't have enough chairs and Carl knew they were greatful for that. So was he. Now he sits next to Negan, Judith on his knee as he feeds his little sister her food and whispers soft words against her hair. He glances at Negan to find him eating away, happy and content in the knowledg that he's untouchable.

"What did you negotiate?" Rick asks after a while, his fork in his hand. He's eaten some but not a lot, not enough to make a dent in his plate. Carl plans on inhaling his food because he's starving.

"Nothin' yet, your boy didn't really get a chanfe to talk before we had to leave." Negan turns to Carl. "What were you thinking, kid? What deal?"

Carl passes Judith to Michonne who gets up without a thought and leaves the house. He taps his figners on the table gently. "We get to keep some guns, for protection, and you stop beating people up without a reason. Not to make a point, not to teach us a lesson," he says firmly, knwoing he'd be denied.

"Well damn kid, you have some high hopes. You're relying on one man to make all this happen, and hell, I _can_. But do I want to? Not really. That's a lot," Negan pushes a hand through his own hair and Carl watches. "But you do have one hell of a mouth on you. And you sang. Agreed to be my second in command... Alright, fine. You get that and only that. One step outta line, from you or anyone else, and it all goes away. Got it?"

Carl nods.

"And when we get back home you're gonna continue what we didn't get to finish."

Carl nods again and starts to eat slowly, ignoring the little looks he's getting from everyone at the table. He feels Negan's knee brush his own and his spine straightens a little, not out of fear but because it's a faint reminder that Negan owns him now. Negan owns everything now.


	6. Tying Loose Ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a playlist for this, check out silver_eyes on 8tracks and lemme know what you think

About an hour later, after everyone has settled and no one seemed too on edge, Negan and Carl left. They pack up the truck with their goods, or Negan's goods, and head back to the Sanctuary where Carl is terrified to spend the night. He won't say anything, he can't, so he sits and keeps his arms folded across his chest as he watches out the window yet again.

When they get back to the Sanctuary Negan pulls him away again, heading to the man's room where he sits on the couch and spreads his knees. He points between his legs and gives Carl a daring look.

Carl doesn't waste a second, kneeling and wiggling Negan's jeans and boxers again until the bigger males cock comes out. He wraps his hand around it and strokes, letting the precum dribble over his knuckles and wrist as he watches Negan's face to see how he's doing. He doesn't seen much of a response so he leans forward and flattens his tongue over Negan's tip, sucking and bobbing down slowly to get a reaction. He gets a moan and that's enough to make him move further, pushing as much of Negan as he can into the back of his throat.

"Ah fuck, _Christ kid_ ," Negan groans lowly and tangles his fingers in Carl's hair, pushing him down further and lifting his hips a hit. He starts to fuck into the boys mouth, never going far enough to hurt or gag him which Carl is thankful for because he's already drooling and whimpering around the man's length. "Shit, shit, fuck. If I had known you'd feel this good then I wouldn't have left so quickly.

Carl's tongue pressed against the side of Negan's cock and he felt more spit gathering. He pulled off and let saliva hand behind his lips and the man's cock, his hand stroking quickly to keep Negan satisfied while he took a breather.

Negan grunts and grips the back of Carl's head, hips rutting forward and cock twitching. "Shit!" He directs Carl's mouth to hear his cock and cums, filling up part of the boys mouth while the rest just hit his face. "Aahh..."

Carl holds in his complaints and swallows all he can, tongue rolling over his lips. "Did I do okay?" he asks, tone a bit cold.

"Fuck, kid, better than okay." Negan wipes the cum off Carl's face and feeds it to him, holding his jaw and watching as Carl licks it all off eagerly. "Such a little slut for me, huh? Bet you'd let me fuck you til you cried for me to stop."

"I-" Carl cuts himself off with a swallow, cheeks turning pink out of shame because he so would.

"Hm, but I don't do that until you ask for it." Negan pats Carl's cheek and stands, moving past him and towards a bookshelf. "I'm gonna offer you some options, your choice won't get you hurt."

Carl sits on the couch, reaching for his bandages but Negan glares at him. "What options?"

"You can sleep in here, in my bed or on the floor on a mattress or the couch - whatever you want - or you can sleep in the guest room next door. Your choice."

Carl thinks and rolls his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes trained on the blood bandages on the table that hr so desperately wants to out back on but doesn't. Sleeping in here might be safer but he couldn't count on Negan not being creepy. But sleeping alone in a room in a place he didn't know was fucking terrifying. "I'll sleep in here. On the couch."

Negan nods and swings Lucille onto his shoulder. "Alright kid, sounds good. Why don't you make yourself at home while I find you a change of clothes, yeah?" He leaves the room without another word.

Carl shifts around and stands toeing his shoes off and setting his hat on the table before going over to the bookshelf to see what he can find. A good amount of the books are classics but in terrible condition from water or whatever else. He notices a few porn DVDs but moves on, pulling a nameless book off the shelf and humming.

It's leather bound and simple, the size of a regular book, and he's just about to open it when the door opens and Negan shouts, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?! Put that back!" he barks.

Carl shoves it back into the shelf. "Sorry I just...got curious I guess."

"Yeah, you guess. Didn't your mama ever teach you not to touch other people's shit without permission?" Negan pulls Carl away from the shelf by his bicep and pushes some clothes into his chest. "Get changed, then I'll figure out your punishment."

"Punishment? For what?"

Negan gives Carl a disapproving look and shrugs his jacket off. "Touching my shit."

Carl blushes and his stomach twists but he stays silent, turning away to pull his clothes off. He gets changed quickly and folds his other clothes, setting them next to the couch before turning back to Negan. "So...did you decide?"

"No. I think you're gonna have to decide for me," Negan muses and smirks.

"Well the only punishment I know is you killing someone or..." Carl pauses. "... spanking."

Negan's eyebrows raise and he leans back a little, an amused glint in his eyes. "Bullseye. Pick one."

Carl can't. His thighs shake a bit bevause the last time he was spanked he was little and it was just once. Ron did it a few times, just ass slaps because Carl had a nice ass (something he would never deny). He bites at his thumbnail. "I don't want anyone else to die," he says through gritted teeth, knowing the outcome.

Negan sits on the couch and pats his thigh. "Over my lap then. Over _daddy's_ lap," he says the nickname and Carl's skin breaks out in goosebumps.

Well, there's no escaping this. Carl made his bed, now he's gotta lie in it.


	7. Black and Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is somewhat long and is basically pure smut? It kinda shows Carl loosening up around Negan a bit so it's still important. Also, Carl IS 18 in this, just fyi.

After a few minutes of the two of them just staring at each other, Carl sighs and leans across Negan's lap begrudgingly. He doesn't exactly want to get spanked. He thinks its hot sometimes but this was probably just gonna lead to him not being able to sit properly for a long while. He still laid there quietly, not sure of where to put his hands or head or anything so he just lets them rest wherever they land. He wiggles ever so slightly when Negan goes quiet. "What's wrong? No sassy remark? Nothing?" Carl asks.

Negan just hums, one hand adjusting Carl's legs so they're parted ever so slightly and the other resting on the small of the boy's back, keeping him pinned to the man's lap. "I have so many things I could say right now and the only one that comes to mind is _damn_ , kid. Your ass is edible."

Carl's cheeks go pink and he's about to reply when his pyjama bottoms get tugged down to his thighs, star spattered boxers visible now. His face gets even hotter.

"Nice boxers, they comfy?" Negan asks, voice teasing.

"Very."

"They won't be when your ass is so sore anything touchin' it hurts. I'm gonna make you remember the feeling of my hand, the way your ass stung with every slap. Got it? And you're gonna count 'em, nice and loud."

Carl's throat tightens a bit and he lets out a shaky breath. "Yep."

"Good. You ready or do you wanna move again?"

Carl gives a sarcastic thumbs up, huffing. That earns him the first swat, soft but still sharp against the material of his boxers. He jolts forward a bit and squeaks, caught by surorise. "One."

Negan chuckles, his hand resting on Carl's asscheek. "Oh I'm gonna enjoy this." He gives another swat and Carl holds in his noises.

Ten swats later and Carl has his nails digging into Negan's jeans, one knee pressed into the couch with his ass raised into the air. The skin of his bum is on fire and it prickles but he's enjoying it. A little too much considering he's got a semi and can't do anything so instead he's trying to keep it hidden from Negan.

"Hips down, Carl," Negan warns in a low voice, pushing Carl's hips down. His hands still on the boy's hips and Carl can _feel_ the smirk on Negan's lips. "Shit, kid, that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"

"Shut up." Carl shifts around but that doesn't help because he ends up rubbing against Negan's thighs, the situation getting worse.

Negan laughs and grips Carl's ass, squeezing and kneeing the flesh gently. "Easy boy, I could spank you raw and make you stand in front of the entire Sanctuary with your ass out if that's what you want. But I bet you'd enjoy that."

Carl's hands grip Negan's thigh tighter. "I-I-"

"Save your breath for countin'!" Negan says enthusiastically and slaps Carl's ass again, earning a squeal and a little kick from the boy.

"Eleven," Carl's growls out roughly, cheeks hot and skin burning. His cock was now fully hard and leaking, something he wished he had control over. "Negan?"

Negan paused, hand resting on Carl's thigh. "Yeah?"

"You - I - can you feel it?"

"Why, yes I can Carl. Do you wanna do something about it or just let it be? Or will be spanking your pretty ass red make you cream your boxers?"

Carl considers this. Yeah, getting spanked to an orgasm would be pretty awesome and he knows it would work, too. But he wonders what else Negan has on mind. "What's my other option?"

" _Ooh_ well..." Negan takes a deep breath. "I could finger you, get you all nice and open for a cock but give you nothing... Or I could get you to sit in my lap and I'll help you out. Your choice. I'm all about choices, Carl, and some are wrong while some are right."

Carl pushes up onto his knees, hands tucked between his thighs shyly. "I... I'm..." He breaths. Long in, long out. "The latter sounds like it'll be fun. A surprise."

"A surprise it right. Straddle daddy's lap."

"You're calling yourself that now?" Carl asks sarcastically and did as he was told, hands pressing on his crotch.

Negan shifts, a hand gripping Carl's ass as he moves a bit to gdt comfortable. "Only if you want me to, kid."

Carl stays silent.

"Alright, I'll take that a no for the time being. C'mon, push 'em down and let me see." Negan taps the waistband of the younger one's boxers.

Carl blushes and htiches his thumbs in the band of his boxers, pushing them down until his cock appears. He isn't the biggest but he's not too small either, a little on the side of 'I take dick like a champ'. His entire face goes red when he sees Negan looking at him, a curious look on he older man's face. The air brushes everything between his legs, including the biological anomaly that he was cursed and blessed with.

Having a weird boy pussy, like an actual vagina, was just weird for Carl. But he had learnt to deal with it while growing up, and he could handle himself. No one but him and his family knew, and if Negan looked any closer, he would know too.

"You shy?" Negan asks and brings Carl closer by pulling his hip. "'Cause you shouldn't be. Not as big as me or most of the guys around here, but a good size considering..."

"Considering what?" Carl asks, a little too eager.

"Considering no one's ever gonna be receiving it." Negan tilts Carl's chin up so the boy can't see what's going on but a few seconds later Carl feels a hand wrapped around his cock, smearing the neverending stream of precum. " _Relax,"_ Negan reminds him.

Carl tries, sitting back a little on Negan's knees with his hands just sorta placed on his stomach nervously. He's feeling himself breath, thighs shaking a little from the stinging of his ass and chest heaving a bit from nerves. Then he feels Negan's hand move, stroking slowly, and Carl let's out a little noise. "Ah..."

There's a few minutes of that, just Carl panting and almost mewling, before Negan adjusts Carl again so he's straddling the man's knee. He cups Carl's face for a second. "Grind."

Carl obeys almost immediately and ruts his hips down against Negan's thigh, one hand braced against Negan's chest and the other gripping the couch. His thighs squeeze a little and he keeps going, a faint whimper leaving his lips. He can't believe he's doing this, grinding against the enemy and almost begging for more. Though he won't actually beg, he'd never be reduced to that in front of Negan. Ever.

"Such a good boy, aren't you? Gonna do anything and everything I ask you too, huh?" Negan purrs and runs his hands down Carl's waist.

Carl is so fucking vulnerable. He's naked aside from his boxers around his thighs and Negan is fully clothed aside from his jacket being off. He supposes that adds to the whole situation but he keeps his guard up a bit as he feels himself getting closer, the hand on Negan's chest now gripping his shirt tightly. Negan murders a few words of appraisal and sometjing filthy and Carl's done, spilling all over the older man's jeans with a sharp buck of his hips and a small cry.

"Good boy. Breathe." Negan smirks when Carl looks up at him through his hair. "Your real daddy wouldn't be too happy with this now would he?" He doesn't wait for an answer before wiping up some of Carl's cum and feeding it to him like he had earlier. Once he's done he stands, sitting Carl on the couch. "Get some sleep, kid. Tomorrow is gonna be a looong day."


	8. VCR Violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna try to give warnings if there's anything that could be triggering (and actual triggering, not the joke crap that people do day to day) in a chapter. There's gonna be mentions of rape so please please please don't read this if it's going to upset you. It's not detailed but I just don't wsnt anyone getting hurt or upset

Carl doesn't sleep. He lays awake and stares at the ceiling with tired eyes as he listens to Negan sleeping soundly in his bed. It occurs to him that simply slitting the guys throat or bashing his head in while he slept would be possible considering the situation, but he doesn't do anything. He just sits up and looks at Negan's sleeping form with curious eyes, pushing the blanket off his thighs as he stands and makes his way to the bed to see if Negan really is asleep.

The man's mouth is hung open, heavy breaths pushing out every now and again and a low grumble sounding from his chest. He looks neutral for once; he doesn't look bad but be doesn't look good. _Middle ground_ , Carl thinks, _if that's even a place for him._

Carl wasn't told he couldn't leave the room so he picks up the sweater Negan had draped over the chair across from the couch and left. He wanders the halls aimlessly, passing a few guards who don't do anything because they were obviously told to leave the kid along, and reaches a room with a few guys watching a box TV intently. He leans in the door frame and sees that they're watching tapes of Friends, a faint smile growing on Carl's face.

"Hey, the boss' fuck toy is watchin'," one of the guys says, a big heavy set guy with no hair anywhere in sight.

"I'm not his fuck toy." Carl narrows his eyes a bit. He's gonna get himself into trouble sooner or later, might as well get it over with.

The guy arched his eyebrows. His lack of eyebrows, actually. "Oh yeah? Didn't sound like that last night with the squealing and stuff."

"That was _one_ time," Carl growls slightly.

"Oh, mhm, sure." The guy leans back and tilts his head back, eyes doubting as the guys around him eye Carl over.

Shivers spread up Carl's spine and his entire body goes stuff, flashes of when his father took out a gang of motorcyclists filling his head as he presses his back further into the doorframe. He can feel it again. The dirt on hi skin when they didn't have showers, the cold night air as he watched through the window to see if his dad and Michonne ended up dead on the road. Then he can feel hands. Grabbing. Pulling. His skin burns and his eyes sting with tears and before he can stop himself he vomits all over the floor, chest heaving and hands gripping his shaking knees.

"Oh fucking Jesus! Someone get Negan," one of the guys yells and another one tiptoes around Carl's pile of bile, making a disgusted noise. "What the fuck, man?"

Carl's vision is a bit blurry and his palms sweat, cheeks hot and eyes unfocused. He's about to vomit again when he feels an arm around his shoulders leading him away. "Clean this up," Negan's voice grumbles sleepily. The older man leads Carl to the bathroom and pushes him towards the toilet bowl. "There, not on my floor."

Carl kneels and throws up again, gripping the sides of the toilet bowl and whimpering. This isn't because of his flashbacks, though they did contribute to it. It's the payback of the food he ate at dinner, inhaling it all and not taking time to really slow down and wait. Now he has nothing, his stomach empty and his chest and lungs aching.

"Shit, kid, what the fuck happened to you? And don't gimme some bullshit, half-assed excuse about scarfing your food. There's more there. Something had to cause it."

"I don't wanna talk about it." Carl's voice is shaky and cold, his elbows tucked close to his sides.

Negan's hand pulls Carl's hair back just sd the boy throws up again, dry heaving as tears ran down his cheeks. Negan sighs and stands, handing Carl a hairtie from the cupboard before dunking a cloth in cold water. "You're gonna a have to tell, kid."

Carl hates having his hair back but he does it anyway, sitting back on his calves and clearing his throat. "I don't want to..." he breathes.

"Carl-"

"I said I don't fucking want to," Carl snaps and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and feels his stomach twist again. "I-I..."

Negan just nods, crouching next to Carl, and hands him the cloth. "C'mon, you need sleep or this is just gonna get worst and my second can't be vomiting on the job."

Carl puts the cloth in the back of his neck and follows Negan back to the room, standing still. He's about to lay on the couch when Negan lifts him into bed. "Why?" he asks tiredly.

"Better than the couch, ain't it?" Negan tugs the sheets over Carl's legs and hips. "I hope this wasn't my food, kid."

"Maybe it's just you." Carl turns onto his side and keeps his back to Negan, breathing slowly. He can feels Negan's eyes on his back but doesn't do anything, falling asleep quickly.

 

In the morning he wakes up to Negan shirtless by the wardrobe. Carl watches and sits up. "How old are you?" he blurts.

Negan chuckles and pulls a T-shirt on, then his jacket. "None of your damn business, kid. C'mon, get dressed. We got a long ass day."

Carl sighs and slides out of bed, pulling on his clothes and setting his hat back on his head. He's gotten used to not having the bandage and it doesn't bother him much anymore. He glances at Negan when he's trying his shoes to see the man watching him with a slight grin. "What?" Carl's asks curiously, straightening out.

"Nothin', nothin'..." Negan dismisses and rubs his scruffy face. "Just interested in seeing how you react to what I'm gone show you.'

"If you're gonna kill more people I'm probably gonna react negative."

"I'm not killin' more people, shut up." Negan claps a hand onto Carl's shoulder and directs him from the room. They walk in silence before reaching a basic pickup truck and Negan gets into the driver's seat. "It's just us today kid, don't keel me waiting."

Carl gets in and shifts to lean against the door a bit, taking inventory in everything in the car incase they got swarmed or he needed a weapon. There was a little cliche pair of dirty dice hanging from the rearview mirror, a few water bottles in the back and in the cupholders, and a Playboy spread open on the back seat. _Nothing_ , Carl thinks.

"Oh yeah, guess you're gonna need this." Negan shifts a bit and pulls Carl's gun out of the glovebox, handing it to the younger boy. "Keep it in its holster until you need it. Alright?"

Carl nods and clicks the gun into place at his thigh, making sure it's secure before relaxing. He's more comfortable with a gun near him, it reminds him that he can protect himself even if he is surrounded by assholes like Negan.

Negan starts up up the truck and pulls away from Sanctuary, his fingers taking the wheel as a CD of classic rock hums through the speakers. "You're gonna have to tell me sooner or later, kid. And I'd prefer it was sooner."

Carl clenches his jaw. "No I won't."

"C'mon, Carl, how bad can it be?" Negan's tone changes from strict and orderly to... concerned?

"Pretty bad."

"You get food poisoning on your first date and vomit or something?" 

"Never had a first date."

Negan sighs heavily and looks at Carl. "Tell me."

Carl stares back at Negan and bites his lower lip before nodding. He sighs, leaning back a bit and rubbing his eyes. "Fine, I'll tell you... When you return Daryl to Alexandria."


	9. He said, He said

Negan's knuckles turn white from gripping the wheel tightly but he doesn't pull his eyes away from the road. "That's a lot to ask, kid. I'm beginnin' to wonder if learning about your past is worth it."

Carl shrugs and looks out the window, a faint smirk on his lips. "Then you'll never know."

"You're a good negotiator, I gotta give you that," Negan laughs lowly, the sound a bit stiff. "How about you tell me and then I'll think on it?"

"No deal."

Negan stays quiet, obviously thinking.

The rest of the ride is silent, Carl occasionally brushing his fingers over the gun at his thigh to make sure it's still there and his eyes flickering to Lucille whenever he did. He starts to wonder just how different Negan and his father are. Both are trying to keep their people alive, though Negan has no problem killing in order to do that. He also kills to make a point. Carl starts to chew at his thumb as he thinks about this, eyebrows furrowing and eyes staring at the dashboard.

"What's on your mind?" Negan asks after a while but Carl ignores him, barely registering the words.

When they reach the little encampment buried in the trees Carl is the first to get out, fixing his belt and hat so it shields his face from the sun. He glances at Negan and goes to his side. "What is this place?"

The older man kicks Lucille up onto his shoulder and sends Carl a charming smile. "Another business partner."

"So you're terrorising them too," Carl states as he follows a little behind.

"I wouldn't say _terrorising_. But they provide for me, I own them. They're my little worker bees, just like you and that mouth of-"

Carl rolls his eyes and cuts Negan off, "I get it. My mouth is great at sucking dick, move on."

 "Watch it, kid, all it takes is a couple words and one of Daryl's fingers gets sent to your dad as a little gift," Negan warns, his face only inches away from Carl's before he backs away and approaches a scared looking man standing near a fire pit. "So, what do you have to offer you this week, Richard?"

The guy, Richard, swallows hard and Carl watches his Adam's apple bob. "N-nothin' yet, you gave us a week and it's only been a few days."

Negan shrugs and looks back at Carl with sparkling eyes, as if he's trying to make sure the younger boy is watching and picking up on everything he does. "Well I did promise a week but I just missed you guys _so damn much_ I had to drop by and see what goodies you got me. I'm a little disappointed you haven't made much progress."

"Well you didn't give us much-"

"Carl!" Negan barks and waves the boy to his side with two gloved fingers, eyes never leaving Richards face as Carl steps to his side. "See that girl over there? Bring her here."

"What are you gonna do to her?" Carl asks cautiously.

"Nothing. Bring her here."

Carl sighs and walks over to the girl, giving a little apologetic look before pulling her over to the two older males. He looks to Negan for instruction, terrified and nervous about what might happen.

Negan sets the end of Lucille on the ground between his feet and leans on her. "Put your gun to the girls head. Make sure the safety's off."

"What? No," Carl refuses, letting the girl's arm go.

"Now, kid. Don't make me wait, I already told ya I'm not patient."

Carl looks between Negan who's still staring at the guy intently and the girl who's eyes are so wife and scared they almost take over her face. He chews the inside of his cheek for a while before pulling his gun out and raising it to the girl's temple, eyebrows furrowing and hands shaking a bit. "I'm not gonna shoot her."

"I didn't ask you too." Negan sighs heavily and rolls his bottom lip between his teeth. "Are you gonna try harder to get me what I want?" he asks Richard.

"Y-yes just let her-"

"Are you?" Negan snaps. "Look at me."

Richard looks at Negan, eyes petrified. "Yes."

"Good. Pull the trigger, Carl."

Carl shakes his head, hands dropping a bit as he starts to back away but Negan growls and grabs Carl's arm, pressing the muzzle of the gun back against the girl's temple. The older man's finger slides over his and squeezes the trigger but nothing happens. Carl breathes out hard and flinches when Negan pulls the trigger a few more times for nothing to happen.

Then Negan starts to laugh.

"You fucker." Carl shoves the gun back into his thigh holster and glares at Negan. His heart is throbbing in his chest and he can feel every inch of his body pulsing with his heartbeat because he didn't want to kill the girl but it seemed he would have had to anyway, if the gun had been loaded. He's almost completely relaxed when Negan pulls a pistol from his jeans and holds it out to Carl. "What am I-"

"You're going to shoot her. Right between the eyes. _Painless_ ," Negan says in a calm voice and looks at Richard who has tears streaming down his face. Carl can tell now that weakness in front of Negan isn't good idea.

Without pause Carl takes the pistol and shoots the girl between the eyes. An image of the girl getting smashed to pieces by Lucille flashes in his eyes and he knows it was either this, quick and easy, or _that_. His arms drop to his sides as he watches her body drop and go limp, breath catching.

"Good boy." Negan's bare hand stroked through Carl's hair before he turns his attention back to Richard. "Have something for tomorrow." Then he pulls Carl towards the car.

Once back to the car, Carl gets in and stared out the windshield at the man leaning over the dead girl's body. He can't believe he just did that.

"You know why I made you do that?"

"I'm guessing it was to prove some fucking point," Carl says, voice shaky and uneven and broken. And God, he just killed that girl without even blinking or thinking. He knows it was better for her to die like that but he thinks about what would have happened if he hadn't been with Negan and what her fate might have been.

Negan nods slowly and leans back a little, rubbing his scruffy face with a hand. "Yeah, to prove some fucking point, Carl. To show you that it's not easy high life living with me."

"I realised that when you were seconds away from pounding Abraham's face into the gravel."

"Look, _someone_ had to pay. I gotta keep order, rules are rules." Negan glanced sideways at Carl and Carl just glares back, hair draped over his eyes. The older man sighs loudly and shifts to face Carl a little more. "How long do you think that girl was gonna last?"

"Probably a while if you didn't exist," Carl says through gritted teeth.

Negan chuckles and shakes his head, patting Carl's thigh and gripping it. "She was sick, taking up supplies and medicine and time. Her chances of survival were pretty slim, kid. I did everyone a favour."

Carl's eyebrows unfurrow and he shifts a bit in his seat. "What'd she have?"

"She had a bite and they tried to get rid of it, cut the skin around it with a doctor and moved the first few layers of infections but it had already hit her blood."

"Shit..." Now Carl felt like they had helped. She would've suffered way worse if she had kept on living, her family and friends having to watch her turn into a Walker.

"See? I did then a favour, a good deed. Now you're gonna do one for me."

Carl drops his head a bit. "What?"

Negan revs the engine and takes off down the road. Once they're far enough away he parks on the side of the road and leans back. "You're gonna tell me what happened that made you so damn fucked up."


	10. When You Have a Pricetag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mention of rape/sexual assault (canon and not canon), so if that upsets you please don't read this chapter. I don't want anyone upset or getting hurt.

"We already had a deal in place!" Carl exclaims angrily, shifting forward to look at Negan with a harsh gaze. He can't believe Negan would back out on this deal, though it didn't surprise him because Negan was that kind of person.

"And I didn't like the deal so I'm renegotiating," Negan plucks the glove from his fingers and sets it on the dashboard.

"That's not fair."

Negan laughs loudly and leans towards Carl. "Life isn't fair, kid. Either you tell me what's up or I give you twenty smacks. Secrets from my second in command will not be tolerated," he says in an official, posh tone. Carl would've laughed if Negan wasn't who he is.

Carl considers just taking the twenty smacks and then leaving the situation, not byoehring to try and make deals anymore. But he sighs and pushes the heel of his hand into his good eye. "Fine."

"Oh goody, long and mysterious past story time!" Negan claps and gives Carl an amused, childlike look.

Carl scowls. "Promise never to do that again and I'll tell you."

"No can do, kid. I'm a child at heart."

"A murderous child..." Carl breathes and rolls his shoulders back to seem confident before just slouching again. "I...On our way to find Terminus, which was a bust, we had stopped at this house for a while because it was decent and had food and stuff, the normal in the apocalypse. Michonne and I were out looking for food one day and my dad wasn't doing good so he stayed back to watch the house and this gang of bikers came in. Dad took out a out one of their guys and then we all took off again..." 

Negan gestures for Carl to continue, an actual look of interest on his face.

"We were walking on this road one night and decided to camp near this van that I slept in. I woke up and there was just this crazy guy at the window but it turns out the biker's had found us and they were gonna... They uh..."

"I'm pretty sure I know what's coming up next but take your time, I wanna hear it from your lips so I don't assume anything." Negan's eyes show actual concern and it makes Carl's skin prickle a bit.

"They talked about making my dad watch as they, uh...raped me and Michonne, then they'd kill us and kill my dad last. So the guy pulled me out of the car and pinned me down and I kept trying to get away but panic took over and my limbs got all stiff and sore for some reason and I couldn't get out and-"

Negan grips Carl's chin, snapping him back into reality. "Hey, look at me. It's over, alright? Done. They're gone, right? Your dad probably took care of them with no mercy, right? It's over, no one's gonna hurt you."

Carl's heartrate lowers a bit and he glances down at his own lap, Negan's fingers feeling foreign yet comforting against his skin. He pulls away a bit and leans against the door of the truck. "My dad bit some guys throat out with his teeth..."

Negan's eyebrows shoot up quickly and he hums lowly. "Damn, he'd do anything to keep you safe. So why hasn't he tried to negotiate getting you back?" He gives Carl a teasing look and starts to drive again, leaving Carl to his thoughts.

Why hasn't his dad come to get him? Why wasn't there an entire army knocking on Negan's front door? Had his dad just forgotten about him? Carl has to force the thoughts out of his head as they drive, eye trained intently on the road flickering past outside the window.

When they get back to Sanctuary Negan heads towards the door without waiting for Carl, Lucille propped on his shoulder and his glove clenched in his other hand. Carl follows even though he wasn't told to, not exactly knowing what else he was supposed to do in this situation.

"When we get back to my room you're gonna shower and we're gonna have dinner," Negan informs him.

"Dinner?" Carl questions like it's a new word.

"Yeah, you know. Food. Eating. With your mouth. It's not just for sucking dick, y'know." Negan opens the door for Carl and smirks.

Carl gives Negan a sarcastic smile and disappears into the bathroom, looking around at the shower stalls. Figures there'd be no single showers like at Alexandria, though he counts his blessings 'cause at least he gets to wash the dirt off his skin and out of his hair. He strips quickly and ducks into a stall, pulling the curtain closed as he starts the water and dunks himself under it. The water running off him is a faded brown and he tilts his head up, some dried blood washing down his face and body. When he's done he steps out and wraps a tattered towel around his hips before leaving the bathroom and heading to Negan's room.

"Ah shit kid, don't go prancing through my place with no clothes on," Negan says and shakes his head, tossing Carl some new clothes. "There are some pretty terrible people on here, though we have a rule against that."

Carl doesn't comment and let's the towel drop for a few seconds as he tugs on his new clothes. He folds the towel and sets it aside, sitting on the couch and fiddling with his jeans. "So...Why dinner?"

"So we can talk. Don't ask stupid questions, Carl." Negan drapes his jackey over the back of the couch and puts a hand on the back of Carl's neck. "Your dad does this, don't he?" He gives a squeeze to emphasise what he means.

"Yeah, he does. And I'd prefer it if it was just my dad who did it." Carl shrugs Negan's hand away and leans forward onto his knees.

"Jesus, kid," Negan laughs and walks to the door. "Get the stick outta your ass before I have to go looking for it." He winks and then leaves, closing the door.

Carl shivers and adjusts his hat in his lap, wondering what his father could be doing. He goes back to thoughts of if they were gonna try to save him or if they were even going to bother. The thought of his family just leaving him here brought him to tears but he covered them up with coughing when Negan came back into the room with food.

"Despite all my efforts to keep you warm you still get sick," Negan huffs and sets the food down, sitting on the chair. "Your little home got cough medicine?"

"It does but I'll be fine." Carl leans forward and starts to eat, eyes down and hair tucked behind his ears to keep it out of his face. In all honesty he's just scared to go back and seen everyone happy without him.

Negan narrows his eyes. "There's something going on in that fucked up head of yours, I wanna know what."

"It's a shame there's nothing going on, now you just look like an idiot."

"I'm getting real fucking sick of your sass. All I've done is try to be fair and you just keep-"

"Being a teenager." Carl pops a grape in his mouth and grins a little, deciding to play along and mess with Negan's head. If he can get to Negan's level, maybe the man will respect him a little more.


	11. Another Author's Note/I'm back!

Helllloooo everyone! I know its been a while and I'm really sorry for that, school has sort of swept me off to a labd of stress an panic. BUT March break is next week, so I will definitely be trying to update and get things sorted and such. Thank you to the people who read these, I know I don't have a fan base but the people who read my fics means a whole helluva lot to me.

On a different note, I'm still figuring out where this fic is gonna go and I'm going you warn you right now, there are going to be graphic scenes in the chapters ahead. Whether it's mention of rape or suggestions of it, brutal violence, just a lot of nasty stuff, I want you guys to guage what you can and can't handle. I'll put warnings at the beginning of each of my chapters if I know there's going to be something that might upset someone and I'll try to specify so that you can decide if you can read it or not.

Along that note, I'll make sure scenes and chapters like this have their own chapter abd arent huddled with a bunch if important stuff you might miss if you decide to skip the chapter. I'll try to recap briefly what happened in the chapter in the next chapter just so you get the plot points of it but I won't go into detail. Sorry for anyone this inconviences but I don't want anyone getting upset.

Now! Thank you to those who read this, who understand, and who will continue reading this fic! I'll be posting maybe another fic later after watching the most recent episodes, but no guarantees, and I'm going to be adding a few morw fics to my collection. Thank you for all your support and love for the fic!


	12. Face Shattering Goodness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of sexual stuff, little bit of anger, little bit of blood, probably gonna be long

Carl showers and wears the clothes Negan set out for him, adjusting the fresh shirt so it doesn't stick to his skin. It's white with little anchors on it, a pattern he hasn't seen since ransacking an old mall on one of Alexandria's runs. He likes it. He pulls a new button up over his shoulders, this one tones of blue, and then follows one of Negan's men to a kitchen that's empty, getting harshly shoved into a chair at a little cafe style table.

After cutting Negan off, Carl had gotten a stern look and then a laugh. Negan didn't seem too upset with Carl's pubescent ways so the boy figures he's safe for now.

Negan enters the kitchen with Lucille at his side, of course. He sets the back against the counter and ties an apron around his neck before getting to work on rolling out pizza dough. Where the fuck did they find pizza dough? Or any of the shit to make pizza? Carl hasn't had pizza in ages.

"So, kid, I like your ballsiness but my second in command can't be back talkin' me in front of my men. I dunno if I already told you this but you can say that shit around me just not when we're with them, got it?" Negan basically monologues as he spreads sauce. "I don't wanna have to use Lucille on that sweet ass of yours."

Carl will never get over those jokes, if they were jokes, but he clears his throat to say, "Then can you get rid of bearded lady over here? I want freedom of speech when I have dinner with my commander." There are hints of sarcasm in his tone but he's serious, the guy standing at the door is freaking him out.

Negan looks at the guy. "Out, Jones. You heard him."

Jones gives a harsh look to Carl but leaves, making Carl relax a bit. He figures if he's second in command then he has some sad and authority over the people here, but he wants to make sure. "Hey, if I'm second in command then...do I get to tell people what to do too?"

"Within reason, yeah. I have more power but if I make it publicly known that you're my right hand man...they'll listen to me so they don't have to face the iron. What I say goes, and if I say your word goes then..."

Carl gives a nod and a little, very slight smile. This could definitely be used to his advantage, though he's not sure how yet. "Cool..." he breathes.

"Mhm, very cool. Can't wait to see my boy out there, kicking ass and taking names. I'll make a leader outta you yet," the older man says and turns to give Carl a smirk.

The remaining minutes of Negan cooking are filled with old tapes playing good music that Carl is familiar with. The songs remind him of driving in his dad's cop car on a summer's day or barbecues with the neighbourhood. Good, innocent, before the world went to shit stuff that reminds the youngest Grimes that he has a family and they will definitely save him soon.

"Alright, pizza!" Negan cheers and sets the cutting board on the table in front of Carl, who can't help but drool over how good it smells. "Your momma ever teach you how to cook, kid?"

Carl shrugs. "No, not really. I was too young before this all started and then she was gone so... didn't get the chance."

Negan nods and doesn't ask anything else, sitting down and serving up the slices beforw digging in a content look on it face. It makes Carl laugh, seeing a man with such brutal tendencies devouring a cheesy mess. And then he can't stop laughing, covering his mouth and snorting.

"What? What's so funny?" The older Mab has cheese hanging from his mouth and Carl laughs louder, bracing an elbow on the table. "Oh c'mon, kid, tell me!"

"You just," Carl takes a deep breath, sighing and calming himself down, "look ridiculous, is all. I mean, you're this big asshole of a guy and you're eating pizza. You look like a little league coach right now."

 Negan grins, a genuine one. "How do you know I wasn't before all this?"

"You don't seem like the type, other than the _big ass baseball bat_ ," Carl points out and starts to eat, not overthinking what Negan might have done to the pizza. He has to trust Negan if this is going to work in his favour.

Negan leans back and regard Carl with curious eyes but doesn't say anything, finishing up his piece and picking up another.

They eat in silence, a comfortable one. There's no tension, no fear in Carl's body or mind. He doesn't understand why, he should be terrified of Negan, but he can't bring himself to fear the guy who made pizza and might've been a little league coach.

"You done?" Negan finally asks when both of then have sufficiently stuffed their faces. Carl nods and Negan clears the table, something Carl expected he would be asked to do. The older does it though, washing the dishes before picking up Lucille and turning her in his hand. "Hey kid?"

Carl looks back at Negan. "Yeah?"

"You wanna learn how to use her?"

Cark thinks hard about this. It would benefit him if he knew how to get the best power out of Lucille, and the thought of maybe turning the bat against her own master doesn't even cross his mind. Just the thoughts of having a good weapon that isn't just guns. "Yeah," he finally says.

Negan takes Carl to the little field next to the Sanctuary, just in view of a few guards but far enough away that no one can bother them. He stands a little ways away from Carl and swings hard, his form nearly perfect.

"You wanna get as much power behind her as you can. You manage to do that and she'll be your bitch, just like how you're nine," Negan murmurs in Carl's ear and pinches his hip, turning the younger boys cheeks pink. Then he hands Carl the bat. "Give it a shot."

Carl takes a few steps away and rolls his shoulders a bit, biting his lip. He positions his hands and swings, torso twisting and fingers gripping the base of the bat so hard his knuckles turn white. There's something almost _pornographic_ about the shock that goes down his spine, lips parting. "Shit. That sucked, huh."

"No, kid, that was good. You been takin' notes on me?" Negan comes up behind Carl abd wraps his arms around the boy's shoulders, repositioning his hands. "You wanna guide her, give her power, but don't control her. She'll do the work for you." He backs away.

Carl's scared to swing again, the pleasure he got from handling such a brutal weapon making him nervous. But he swings again. This time, white hot flames erupt on his spine and his entire face goes red, surprised at how powerful a piece of wood wrapped in barbed wire could be. He should know that now, though, having seen some of the damage done.

"Thatta boy. Easy kid, don't want you jizzing those jeans." Negan pats Carl's hip and directs him towards a few walkers shambling along in the field. "Wanna give it a shot? Or are you too horny?"

"She's a bat, not a naked girl," Carl reminds Negan but starts towards the walkers anyway.

"You don't like naked girls!" Negan calls after him, following behind with a pistol in hand. Carl knows it just in case a walker gets the jump on them, but can't help wondering if Negan is afraid Carl will turn on him.

Carl licks his lips as he watche the walkers which don't seen to be too interested in then. _Must've just eaten_ , he thinks but knows that's not it. He doesn't know why they're not lunging at him.

"Go on, boy, don't have all day. And I have plans tonight."

"Shut up," Carl grumbles. He takes a few steps and swings, knocking a walker's head clean off. It flies through the air and lands somewhere in the the grass. His grip slips a bit and he knocks another one back, slamming the bat into the monster's head. Blood spatters his chest and face but he keeps going, taking out his anger on any walker that gets close to him.

Something inside him clicks into place, like he'd been missing a puzzle piece, and the anger in his body almost scarws him. He can't bring himself to stop though. He's angry about so many things that he starts to wail on one walker brutally, letting out almost sad whimpers.

"Whoa, hey hey hey!" Negan comes up behind Carl and slips an arm around his waist, another hand gripping the boy's wrist so he can't swing again. "Easy, baby boy," he whispers in Carl's war, pulling him back a bit.

The nickname snaps Carl out of his little trance and he hands the bat back to Negan, wiping his filthy hands on his jeans. He's never felt that angry or hurt before, and he doesn't even know how to pin what happened to him

"Jesus, kid, that was...awesome. Fuck, I wish I brought a camera!" Negan says excitedly and keeps a hand on Carl's hip. He looks at the mashed walker bodies and nods. "Good going, Carl. I'm proud of you.'

Something about those words, "I'm proud of you", makes Carl swallow hard. Rick said that when Carl could restrain himself from being too brutal. Negan said it because Carl tapped into something he hasn't been allowed to access all this time. His dad has been holding back on becoming like Negan, and, as a result, had been keeping Carl from doing the same.

Carl was starting to resent his dad.


	13. Daddy's Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anger, probably the same as the last chapter in content regards.

After washing up again, Carl sits on the couch in Negan's room and stares at his hands. There are bits of blood still under his bails, dirt mixed in, but he can't be bothered to clean them when they're just going to get liked that again anyway. He sits back and thinks hard, eyebrows furrowed.

He's still angry for not reason. His chest is tight and he keeps clenching his hands into fists, the rage he felt when using Lucille not fading. It doesn't scare him as much as it had when he had finally gotten time alone in the shower, crying hard until he couldn't breathe. Now he just felt weird.

He wants to be _bad_. He wants to have a reason to be angry or passionate or whatever he's feeling, he can't place it.

"Whatcha thinking about kid?" Negan asks as he comes in, now in joggers and a white t-shirt. Negan is dripping off his shoulder, blood still wet.

"If I asked you to hit me, would you do it?" Carl asks, wondering if he just needed the shit beaten out of him. The tension in his chest is getting painful.

"Um..." Negan sits and places not hands on the bottom of Lucille, her tip pressed against the floor. "I wouldn't jusy hit ya, kid. I'd need a reason. Unless you asked me to spank you or some shit."

The thought sparks something and Carl gives a nod. "Will you?"

"Spank you? Sure. Scoot." Negan places the bat against the table and moves Carl over, sitting down. "How many ya want?"

Carl doesn't know. He can't tell how much he needs before the feeling goes away. "Just...go until I say stop or something?"

"Hey, loot at me," Negan demands, making Carl face him. "Something' bothering you? Did I say something?"

"Why are you proud of me?" Carl blurts. There it is. The tension presses against his ribcage and he holds his breath.

The older man's eyebrows raise but he licks his lips and tucks some of Carl's hair away, showing off the wounded eye. "Because it takes a lot of fucking rage to do what you did in that field, and you dug into it so quickly. I'm a tame kind of angry, I can control myself when I need to. But you...you're a sick kid, Carl. Not in a bad way. You've gone through shit I don't even know about to make you that angry. And it's terrifying."

"You didn't answer the question. You're proud of me for being fucked up?"

"No, for being able to let it out without hurting yourself," Negan corrects. "Most people get so angry they do something stupid that ends up fucking them over. You chanelled everything into Lucille and just trusted her to take care of you. You had no walls."

Carl swallows again and the tension is gone, his shoulder relaxing. "I became a monster."

Negan stares at Carl, one hand cupping his chin. "You know how you said your dad tore out some guys throat with his teeth? What you did in the field was that. It's defence. Your fight or flight kicking in, protecting you from oncoming threats even though you could easily take then out. I think me bein' there affected it a bit."

"What? Like I was subconsciously trying to impress you?"

Negan nods. "Exactly. Something in you wanted to show me what you were capable, and you did."

Carl shifts a little and the tension is back but this time it's not anger. It something rising from the thought of Negan watching him beat the shit out of those walkers.

The older seems to notice the change in atomospehere and he lifts Carl into his lap with ease, one hand on the small of Carl's back and the other gripping his upper thigh. "Look kid, you can ask for anything from me. I'll do my best to keep you satisfied and happy. I like you, alright? I got a soft spot for future serial killer kids."

Carl laughs and shakes his head, hair falling in his face again. "Yeah, alright buddy." He's thinking about what Negan said about fight or flight when he feels the man's lips on his, his body tensing. His fight or flight kicks in but he doesn't take either option, pressing his lips back against Negan's.

He wanted to be bad, this was his chance. Just the thought of the horrified look on his father's face makes Carl kiss harder, his arms wrapping around Negan's neck to press their chests together.

Negan seems to enjoy it too because he moves both hands to Carl's waist, gripping it and pulling the boy tighter against him. "Jesus kid, if you told me beating something to shit got you off then I would've let you use Lucille a long ass time ago."

"Shut up. Shut up shut up _shut up_ ," Carl begs, almost in a pathetic whining tone. He chases Negan's lips.

"Okay, okay. Don't get your panties in a twist," the man laughs and kisses Carl again, one hand wralling in the younger's hair before he pulls away again. "Ooh, panties."

Carl growls and nips Negan's lower lip, pushing their lips together and nudging the man's shirt up slowly.

 The last person he kissed was Ron and that was experimentally. They wanted to know if guys felt different than girls. After that it had just been sexual shit.

"Hey Negan, we got Rick Grimes at the gate daying he wants to see the kid," a guy says as he walked in, not even batting an eyelash at them.

Negan groans and stops his fingers from working on Carl's jeans. "Fine, fuck. Ruinin' our fun."

Carl slips off Negan's lap and fixs his hair snd clothes, reaching for his hat but stopping. He doesn't put it on, looking back at Negan. "You coming too?"

"I'm sure youteo needs some good ol' father son bonding time. I won't be far away though. Take Lucille, throw him off," Negan suggests, nodding at the bat. 

 Carl doesn't hesitate to pick Lucille up, heading past the guy in the doorway and towards the gates of the Sanctuary. He's not sure what he's going to say or do, but he knows he's gotta stay calm and indifferent no matter what. He can't favour one side over the other.

He reaches the gate and they open it. His dad, Daryl, and Maggie are standing on the other side, all of them armed and ready for anything.

"Carl-" Rick starts and takes a few steps towards Carl but a guy stops him, muttering that Negan doesn't want anyone touching Carl. "Tell him to go fuck himself," his dad growls and keeps walking.

"No, Dad, just...stay there," Carl says and grips the handle of Lucille a bit tighter, throat tightening at the look of utter betrayal on his father's face. "It's better if we don't piss him off, okay? He's already fucking you guys ten ways to Sunday."

Rick scowled. "Watch your tone, Carl."

"No, Dad," Carl repeats, tilting his head back and sighing. He wishes Negan was there. "I'm trying to make things better and you guys need to let me do what I came to do, alright? Constantly messing with this isn't going to help."

He doesn't need to be saved anymore.

"Listen, kid, you don't know what that man is capable of or-" Daryl starts.

Carl sends Daryl a look. "Shut up."

"Carl!" Rick hisses, nostrils flaring.

Negan seems to have lost patience because he pins Rick to the fence after grabbing Lucille, the best inches away feln Carl's father's face.

"Listen, man, if you're gonna nose into my private life then I'm gonna give you all the dirty little details you never wanted to hear," Negan says and points to Carl. "Your boy, daddy's boy right there, bashed a bunch of walkers on with my baby girl and I swear he was imagining you instead of them because the utter hate in his eyed is something a son can only feel for his father."

Rick looks to Carl. "Carl?" he asks, tone still stiff but eyes wavering.

"I can't tell you what he saw," Carl says and shrugs.

"That's beside the point," Negan cuts In, "and my point is that just ten minutes ago, your precious son was in my lap with his tongue down my throat. And he's so small I bet I could fuck him-"

"Stoooop!" Carl whines, but there isn't a hint of shame on his face. "Just send them home."

Negan clenches his jaw but shoves Rick out the gate, nodding to the guy handling it. "I'll see you soon, don't drop by again." He turns and wraps an arm around Carl, pulling the boy into his side before heading inside.

Carl feels better than ever before.


	14. C'mon, Keep Singing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up going an entirely different way then I intended but I like it. Also, first time actually writing fingering so lemme know if I did okay and if I need to improve on something!

Negan takes Carl to the walker field again, where new walkers have practically lined up for Carl's benefit. The older man hands the boy Lucille and within minutes the walkers are gone again, Carl a mess and Negan grinning.

"You really hate your dad, huh?" Negan asks once Carl is done, taking the bat from the shaking boy. 

Carl shrugs. "I don't hate him but he's so...patronizing to me! He acts like I can barely handle myself!" he yells, wiping sweat from his face but spreading blood.

Negan wipes some off the blood off Carl's cheek and cups his jaw. "Ooh I think you can handle yourself. Let's go, kid." 

Carl follows Negan obediently, wiping his hands on his jeans as the older man sends him to shower for the third time that day. He does, enjoying every lasting second if it as the water washes over his body and hair. Alexandria has showers but this is better for some reason, it's freeing.

"Hey, you gonna be long now?" Negan asks, footsteps echoing off the bathroom walls and the slight tapping of Lucille on a bench like a song tempo.

"Shouldn't be!" Carl calls back, and a few seconds late he gets out and dries off. He accepts the joggers and tank top Negan gives him and follows the man back to his room, flopping across the couch with a groan. "Sleep time."

Negan watches Carl with interested eyes. "You gonna sleep there again?"

"Mmmhm," Carl replies and looks up at the man with tired eyes. "That a problem?"

"No, just figured you'd sleep in the bed."

Carl sits up a bit, rubbing his neck and saying, "One day, alright? I'll get there."

That seems to satisfy Negan because he smiles and climbs into bed, rolling away from Carl and falling asleep quickly. Carl listens to his snoring, playing with the fabric of his shirt and thinking that maybe he could play both sides well enough. Show his family side to his father and his brutal, uncaring side to Negan. It could work if he does it right.

Eventually he does fall asleep but he has a dream you never want to have at someone else's home: a wet dream. He tosses and turns and makes little noises that he can't help. When he wakes up he's sweating and gripping his shirt, painfully away Negan is sitting up and watching him

"Sorry, didn't really mean to do that," Carl breathes and smoothes down his shirt.

"Don't need to apologize, Carl. Do you want help?" Negan asks, and his tone is rough and gravelly from sleep and on boy does Carl ever want help.

"Uh...s-sure." Carl shifts so he's sitting upright fully, unsure of what Negan has planned. He watches as the man sits down and pats his lap, and Carl sits in it slowly, sinking until he's sat on Negan's thighs. "This good?"

"Yeah but _this_ ," Negan pulls Carl forward a bit roughly, their hips clashing and making Carl cry out, "is much better."

Carl's face is red and hot, and the bulge in the front of his joggers is pressed right against Negan's hips. "Uh..."

"Don't worry, kid, I got you." Negan moves his hands almost expertly to the dip of Carl's hips and thighs, bringing the boy down in a slow grind that makes the younger of the two whine. The older man smirks and slowly, carefully, slides his hands to hold Carl's ass. "This good baby? You alright?"

Carl gives a brief nod and rocks down over and over again, the friction in his hard-on and the hands on his ass making it hard to focus on one solid thing.

"As much fun as this is, baby boy, I'm not getting much entertainment outta it. Sing me a song, will you?" Negan nips Carl's ear after he's down speaking, sending sparks down the boy's spine.

"B-but I can barely -" Carl starts to protest but the look from Negan tells him to shut up and start singing. So he does. He picks a song he hears on repeat in Alexandria, mumbling the words as he rocks down. His voice is barely audible.

Negan tuts and picks Carl up with ease, carrying him to the bed and laying him across the covers smoothly. "See, that just won't do. I won't have any half assed singing." He places a hand at the band of Carl's boxers and gives a look. He wants permission.

If there were two things that Carl had to say he's learned at the Sanctuary, it was that Negan's word was law and consent wasn't negotiable.

Carl nodded and lifted his hips so the older man could slip the younger's boxers off, leaving Carl bare from the waist down. He became painfully aware that Negan was staring and twisting his fingers into his shirt. "Do something already."

Negan chuckles but spreads Carl's thighs gently, rough hands running over the smooth, sensitive skin of the brunette's thighs. Negan's eyes never leave Carl's, even as he brings two fingers to the boy's mouth and says, "Suck."

Carl takes the fingers into his mouth and sucks softly, going to close his thighs but Negan uses a hand to keep then spread, a dark look in his eye. Carl doesn't stop sucking until Negan pulls his fingers out, a string of spit hanging between them.

A glint appears in Negan's eyes as he dips the fingers out of sight, barely brushing the secret between his legs that Negan seems to be ignoring for the time being. "Good girl," he whispers, one finger pressing to Carl's hole.

 Carl's about to make a snide comment when the finger slips into him and he arches involuntarily, heels digging into the bed. Every nerve ending is suddenly set on fire, every inch of his body screaming for more when though it hurts. And maybe that's why he likes it, because it hurts.

"C'mon now, keep singing for Daddy," Negan teases, the finger easing in and out of Carl slowly, and Carl can tell that the man doesn't want this to hurt or be rough. He knows it's Carl's first time.

Carl's voice catches but he let out a little whimper before going back to singing, fingers tugging his shirt down over his cock which is now leaking profusely onto his hips and tummy. He wants to hide from himself, embarrassed and ashamed that he let his guard down long enough for Negan to get into his head and make a home. But he can't bring himself to give a shit, voice cracking. "F-fuck, Negan."

"That's my girl," Negan praises and the second finger pushes in next to the first, making Carl cry out again. "Say my name, sweetheart. Let everyone know who you belong to."

Carl gasps and rocks down onto the fingers almost forcefully, head tipped back and thighs spread as wide as he could get them. "Aahh! N-Negan! Pl-please, I'm so cl-close!"

"Already? Aw, what's the fun in that?" The older man pushes the fingers deeper, pressing them right against Carl's prostate. "I could just keep going, milk you dry and leave you sleepin' in your own mess."

Carl can't formulate a response, the pressure against his sweet spot getting to be too much. He whines like a girl and covers his mouth, cumming into his shirt which was still covering his cock. He lets out a few ragged cries and then collapses down against the sheets.

Negan pulls his fingers out and wipes them on the sheets, leaning between Carl's legs to place a few soft kisses against his jaw. "You're a good girl, y'know that? Took my fingers so well and without complaint. Can't wait to see you take my cock." 

The boy nods tiredly and let's Negan move him, curling up on the other side of the bed. His body is still trembling from his release and Negan rubs comforting circles into his spin and hip.

"Sleep, Carl. You need it."


	15. One For The Road

Carl wakes up to an empty bed but breakfast on the coffee table, complete with coffee abd bacon. He gets out from under the sheets and groans at the sore feeling in his ass, wondering how bad it's gonna be when and if Negan ever fucks him. He shakes the thought away and sits down to eat, enjoying the quiet and the solitude while it lasts. 

The door opens and Negan comes in, dressed in his usual with Lucille on his shoulder. "Morning kid. How ya feelin'?"

"Sore," Carl replies, wiping his mouth and looking up at Negan with a little smile. "But good. I don't think I've ever cum that hard before."

"Oh yeah?" Negan sits in the arm chair, head tilting back as he lets out a deep groan when he stretches. "Ronnie-Boy never do you any good?"

Carl shrugged, surprised that Negan even remembered him mentioning Ron. "Never tried. It was always me sucking him off or something."

Negan frowned. "Selfish boys. Well, I promise I'll do my best to catch you up. Just not now."

"Where're we going?" Carl asked and stood up, getting dressed and following Negan. Again, the hat forgotten on the table.

"Alexandria. I've decided to pay a surprise visit considering they surprised us." 

Carl doesn't object or say anything, following like a good boy. When they reach the van he gets in and leans on the window, spending the right alternating between dozing off and listening to Negan and his men crack jokes.

"So, the kid your wife now or what?" Dwight asks, his voice lowering as if he doesn't want Carl to hear, but he still can anyway.

"No, he's more than that. He's second in command, not just a pussy to fuck," Negan points out.

"So...What? He's special? What'd he do, give you the best blow of your life?"

Negan grunts and Carl can feel his eyes. "No. Well yes, but no."

They arrive at Alexandria and Carl gets out, a few of the guys looking him over as if trying to guage whether or not they wanna give their approval. He shoots them a charming smile and immediately all of then seem to relax.

"I see you're gettin' used to your power," Negan says as they approach the gate to Alexandria.

"Not really, just...studying the playing grounds." Carl looks up at Negan, a little smile on his face. "I need a signature weapon like you have Lucille and Michonne has her swords."

Negan gives a wide smirk, a hand tipping Carl's head back so he can kiss the boy's forehead. "We'll find something' for ya. Now, to work!" He slams Lucille against the metal bars off the gate, whistling a happy tune.

Carl wonders just how off his rocket Negan really was, or if it was his personality. The man was a maniac, no doubt about it, but he handled himself in a good way. 

 The gates slide open and Carl's dad is on the other side, which makes Carl want to disappear. Just the look his father is giving him tells him all he needs to know about the state of Alexandria. He doesn't let it shake him though, standing behind Negan but still at his side.

"If you can surprise us, we can surprise you," Negan says, loud enough for everyone in the vicinity to hear. "Now, you got our shit?"

"You gave us a week, we ain't-"

"I didn't ask for excuses, now did I boys?" The men from the Sanctuary grumble in response. "Mhm, no I did not. So...do you have our shit, Rick, or not?"

Carl senses that Negan is getting impatient and sets a soft hand on his back. "Maybe take less than usual, give them more time. Half of the half now, half of the half later."

Negan's fingers grip Lucille a bit tighter but he nods in agreement, his free hand touching Carl's hip. "You're in charge. Go pick some shit to take, alright kid?"

 Carl likes this plan, it means he can pick and choose stuff to take that Alexandria didn't desperately need. At the same time, he'd need to take some important stuff. He nods at Negan and heads inside of Alexandria's gates, glancing at his dad. "Don't say anything."

"Oh I'm gonna say something," Rick starts, following Carl closely. "What the hell was that? What the hell is going on?!"

"Dad, I can handle this! I can!" Carl hisses and faces his father, still in view Negan so he doesn't show emotion. "If it weren't for me then another one of us would end up dead because Alexandria wouldn't have enough shit to give or they'd take stuff you need. At least I can leave you with some good stuff." He turns and keeps walking, face red.

His father doesn't trust him. Hell, Carl's sure his father never trusted him. Never trusted his judgenent or ideas or anything. Carl is a nuisance in the eyes of everyone else because he's a child.

He gets to the armoury and sees Michonne who looks at him with a blank expression. "i need to take some," he explains softly.

"What should we take, kid?" One of Negan's men asks.

"Leave some shotguns, some of the bigger weapons and the pistols. Take anything brutal."

Michonne watches Carl with almost worried eyes but he tries to ignore it, noticing Negan walking towards them.

"Leavin' them some heavy stuff, huh?" Negan asks, his hand finding its way to the small of Carl's back where it rests posessively, fingers curled into the fabric as if to tell Carl not to move or make him look stupid.

"I'm not gonna take all their protection, it'll just piss them off," Carl explains simply.

Negan guns, nodding. "I get it. You wanna go see your baby sister?"

Carl's eyes brighten and his chest tightens a bit as he nods, turning and leaving to go to the house. When he gets there, he sees Daryl on the front steps, holding Judith and watching Negan's men with sharp eyes.

"See you have no problems going against your own," Daryl grumbles, voice deep and filled with anger.

"I'm keeping us safe, why do no one see this? If I place nice we have an upper hand and I can give us a fighting chance!" Carl steps onto the stairs and holds his hands out.

Daryl reluctantly gives Judith over and crosses his arms on his knees, eyes never leaving Carl's face. "Don't hurt her."

"What kind of messed up kid do you think I am? She's my baby sister, I'm not gonna hurt her. Negan wouldn't hurt her either." Carl puts Judith at his hip and looked out at the street to see all off Alexandria's inhabitants scattered around as they watch their stuff being taken.

"Medicine," Daryl ssays suddenly. "We need medicine and I know they have a shit ton, get some for us."

"I'll try. I can probably tell someone to bring you some, I have that sort of power over them." Carl looks over and sees one of the men grabbing a women's elbow. He whistles loudly and makes eye contact, shaking his head. The guy lets go.

Carl's dad walks over and watches. "If you can do that then why aren't you tryin' to help more?"

"I can only do so much," Carl sighs and hands Judith to his dad, watching her with loving eyes. "Is she doing okay?"

"She had a fever a few nights ago but she's okay." Rick holds her to his chest. "You'd know if you were here."

"Stop."

"No, I won't stop. This is your family, Carl. Us. Not Negan's-"

"Not Negan's what?" Negan asks as he strolls over, cutting Rick off. "Somethin' wrong, kid?" he asks Carl.

Carl shakes his head and steps off the stairs, standing at Negan's side with his hands in his pocket. "No, it's nothing."

Negan wraps an arm around Carl's waist and pulls him closer, fingers pressing into the smaller boy's ribcage softly. "You sure baby boy? If they're botherin' you..."

"No, no I promise it's nothing." Without thinking, Carl kisses Negan's cheek to reassure him, only then realizing his dad and Daryl were still there.

Negan smirks and his hand grips Carl's hip hard, pulling the boy closer. "I think we're done here, wanna go?"

Carl looks to Daryl and his dad, leaning over and kissing Judith's forehead. "I'll see you guys soon," he whispers and follows Negan back to the RV. He gets in and rubs his forehead slightly, feeling uneasy and sick.

"Well that went well," Negan says sarcastically and leans back on the couch. "They seemed happy to see you."

"Oh yeah, _really_ _happy_ ," Carl replies with the same level of sarcasm.

Negan reaches over and grips Carl's jaw, fingers pressing into the skin harshly. "I get that they put you on edge but they do the same to me, so watch it."

Carl locks eyes with Negan and swallows, nodding. "Yeah. Sorry."

Negan nods and loosens his grip, fingers rubbing where he had gripped. "Sorry baby, I'm sorry."

Carl's eyes widen a little and he shifts so he's sitting next to Negan. "It's okay."

Something about Negan apologizing makes Carl even more uneasy, like he had some sort of upper hand over the sadistic guy. If that's the case then Carl could definitely use it to his advantage. Problem was, did he really want to?


	16. Repetition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Violence and swearing

Sanctuary is quiet when they get back, most of the Saviors off doing something.

Carl gets out of the van and stretches, looking around as he feels Negan's arm around his waist. He smiles faintly, "Can I help you."

"No. Just wanted to grope for a minute." Negan's hand slides to Carl's ass and he squeezes for a moment before pulling away and heading to the stairs. "Feel free to wander, I have to deal with somethin'. See you for dinner." He disappears inside the building, leaving Carl officially alone for the first time. No guards.

First he heads to the cafeteria area to get lunch, striking up conversation with one of the girls nurses who explains the situation they're having with the tomatoes in the garden. So after lunch, Carl goes to help with that. Then he settles on a fence looking out across the field they usually massacre walkers in.

It's peaceful for the first time since his arrival so he savours it, closing his eyes and tilting his head back.

"Carl!" a voice hisses.

Carl's eyes snap opgo. and he looks around, straddling the fence now. His eyes land on Enid who is crouched on the grass, her eyes side. "Enid!" he hisses back and drops down, sitting beside her. "What're you doing here? You could get killed."

"Yeah, so could you. So what's the difference between us?" Enid argues, her gaze shifting to Carl.

"The difference is Negan trusts me and he doesn't really take kindly to unexpected visitors."

She shrugs and launches herself over the fence quickly, so Carl follows. "What have you learned?"

Carl knows this isn't going to go well, and he can feel blood pounding through his veins when he notices how close they still are to Sanctuary. If anyone tried hard enough, theh could see two spots in the grass and that would be it. Everything Carl had worked up, the trust with Negan and his people, would be gone in a handful of seconds.

He grabbed Enid's shoulders and tugged her to her knees. "Stay low. And I haven't learned much but-"

"But you learned how his scruff feels on your cheek." Enid arches an eyebrow at him.

"Enid it's not-"

There's a rustling a few feet away and Carl starts to shove Enid at the fence. "No, no we're not talking about it. You need to go, you need to-"

"Who's this, Carl? You sneaking make out sessions behind my back?" Negan's voice sounds front behind them.

Every part in Carl's body freezes and he swallows hard. "Th-this is Enid. She's from Alexandria, she was just leaving." He prays to whoever the hell is in control that Negan let's this slide and let's Enid go.

Negan's tone is playful as he says, "Aw c'mon now, we always got room for one more at the dinner table. Bring your friend and we'll chat, yeah baby girl?" He's addressing Carl but Carl can't bring himself to speak, so he just nods. "Good, good. To my room then."

Carl gives Enid a look and follows Negan, head low when he hears Enid's footsteps behind him. They follow all the way to Negan's room, the door clicking behind them.

"Now, I don't like spies much. I'm more of a face things head on kinda man, but you sneakin' that close to my home and distracting my boy... I gotta give you credit for being a snake." Negan paces beside the bed, hand clasped around the base of Lucille before he suddenly swings out, the end of the bat level with and only an inch away from Enid's chest. "But if you ever sneak into my home again, talk to my boy again, this will be way worse than just a chat. Now _sit_."

"Can't sit with your bat that close, dick." Enid's face is all cockiness and pride.

"Enid, shut the hell-"

"No, Carl. She's right. I am not being reasonable, but you know what? Neither is your little habitat of people. I think..." Negan stops and nods, heading to his dresser drawer. He pulls out a knife and points the handle towards Carl. "Here ya go, you're gonna prove yourself to me and my people."

Carl's eyes dart back and forth between the knife and Negan's face, looking for any hint of humour or playfulness. But there's none. Just a stone cold look and a steady hand.

"I - she just - can't we just let her go?" Carl says hoarsely, his fingers closing around the hilt of the knife nonstop. And a part of him, a small, barely stoked flame, is excited, and he's ashamed of that.

"No, Carl, we can't. We have to make examples of those who cross us, and you little girlfriend here has." Negan puahes Carl towards the terrified looking Enid, the end of Lucille just barely bumped against the boy's lower back. "Take her finger. Hell, take two."

Carl's entire body is an earthquake and his eyesight is blurry but he can't tell if it's tears of the threat of fainting. He meets Enid's eyes and sees the pleading. His hand reaches out anyway, taking her wrist in trembling fingers and practically hauling her down to the coffee table. He blinks, once, twice, three times, and presses down hard on her wrist, keeping her in place. "I'm so sorry..." he breathes, and in one swift movement and with a sickening crunch and some resilience, he hears Enid crying into her arm.

A hand claps onto Carl's shoulder and pulls him to his feet, a comforting hand cupping his cheek. "Lay down, baby girl. I can handle the clean up and getting her out of here safely, you did good." Negan's voice sounds distant, like Carl is underwater, and he lets himaelf be lead to the bed where he's laid down gently.

He can't remember cutting the finger off. Can't recall the feeling or the sounds or even the visual, and as he barely comprehends Negan cleaning the blood and wrapping Enid's hand and severed finger and sending her on her way, there's a warmth in his stomach and his fingers slip against each other. Blood, but no amount of focusing on that makes Carl feel nauseous. Not even a little.

What feels like ages pass before the door opens and Negan returns, locking the door behind himself and leaning Lucille against the wall. He stands in front of Carl and cups his cheeks. "Baby girl, your hands are all bloody."

"Wonder why," Carl says sarcastically.

"Don't get cranky with me boy. Let's get you into a bath so I can talk about somethin' with you." Negan sweeps Carl into his arms and leaves the room. They walk for a while before the older man sets Carl on a counter and starts to run the bathroom in a nice looking bathroom. Carl isn't exactly sure what Sanctuary is built out of, but they sure have pretty decent bathtubs.

After some fiddling and Carl stripping with a faint flush to his cheeks, he slips into the water and holds his knees. A faint smile curls across his lips, seeing as he hasn't had an actual warm bath with clean water for a while.


	17. New Toys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexual content, degradation, slight dub-con.

Negan offered to wear his boxers but Carl had said it was okay if he didn't, and now he was sat on the man's hips, his bare back to Negan's bare chest. Not to mention the thick cock that was resting against Carl's ass, that was hard to ignore considering it was hotter than the water.

Breath brushes Carl's ear and his skin breaks out in shivers, earning a chuckle from Negan. "What? What's so funny?" the boy asks defensively.

"You're nervous. It's sweet to have someone who isn't used to this." Negan's voice is low and his lips press to the top of Carl's spine gently, resting there as he asks, "Can I touch you?"

Carl hesitates, almost saying no but fighting against that urge to do so. "That's why you got in here, isn't it?" 

The man nods and one hand slides off the edge of the tub, coming to gently carress Carl's throat before it dips across his collarbone and to one if the two very faint but somewhat noticeable mound of flesh on the boy's chest. The hand cups it, squeezing slowly and thumb barely nudging the soft nipple before it hardens.

"God, you are a beauty. I bet that cunt would be dripping all over your thighs if we weren't in the water," Negan nearly growls, his other hand coming to do the same to the other small mound. His fingers play and pry at the taut nipples now, rolling them, and Carl can feel Negan's cock getting harder.

Taking a moment to steady his breathing from the torturous teasing, he reaches below the water and moves Negan's cock so it's resting against his own. He isn't sure why, but he feels like Negan would enjoy it more with it there, so close to what he wants.

Negan chuckles and sits up, Carl's body moving with it as the younger of the two feels teeth graze his ear. "These are a perfect size for you, y'know. Small and soft. Do they get sore?"

"Yeah, sometimes," Carl breathes, "why?"

"I want you to tell me when they get sore so I can sit your pretty self in my lap and massage them. I wanna make you feel good, baby girl." Negan flicks the hardened nipples and one hand lingers, the left one, before the right hand glides down Carl's stomach and to his thigh. "Daddy's gonna touch."

"Okay, please do."

 Negan chuckles, giving the nipple a warning pinch. Then, his fingers graze over Carl's cock, making it jump. Carl can't help but let his head fall back a little, cock dripping and throbbing before the hand moves and dips lower, and suddenly something presses roughly against his clit and-

"Oh fuck!" Carl moans, shifting suddenly. Just the little amount of pressure made the boy squirm, what would happen once Negan really started to have fun?

Negan's breathing hitched ever so slightly, the fingers moving and Carl feels some shifting below before he feels the tip of the man's cock against the entrance to his pussy.

"H-hey, wait-" A hand clamps over his mouth, fingers slipping between his lips to silence him.

"Shh baby girl. Not gonna but I wanna so bad. You're killing me with your little tits and your precious cock and soft cunt. I could just slide in right now, ruin you and fill up your pussy over and over again until I run dry. Would you like that? Being a good cum dump for me?" Negan's tone is something new and dark, low and demanding attention but still soft. His cock ruts against the boy's pussy a few times, the bigger of the two letting out restrained grunts.

Carl doesn't wanna stop it. Every time the head of Negan's cock bumps his clit, his hips jerk, and all he can do is gasp and drool around the fingers in his mouth.

Negan groans lowly in the boy's ear, leaning forward and pressing a hand to his dick to keep it pressed against Carl. He starts rocking again, deep growls and restrained moans passing through his lips before he tilts his head back and cums into the water, giving a few more bucks. "Good girl, letting daddy use your pussy to make himself cum." He slips the fingers out of Carl's mouth and saliva trails down the boy's chin and chest.

"I-I gotta cum too, wait-" Carl's hips circle, desperate for contact as he reaches a hand down to rub himself.

Suddenly, a hand grasps Carl's wrist and the teen is yanked from the water and bent over the counter, thighs spread. Slick immediately slides down the boy's thighs, cock hanging hard and leaking as well.

"My God, this is a sight I wish I could keep forever. Pretty boy cunt all wet for me while your little cock is begging for attention to. I only got one tongue, boy, which do you want to feel it against?" Negan still has Carl's wrist, gentle but firm.

"Pussy, please!" Carl whimpers. He hates himself for being such a girl and for giving in this easy but he can't help his horomones.

Negan hums and suddenly there's a wet and warm pressure against the fiery bud between Carl's legs. It flicks back and forth and the boy can't help the flow of wetness that drenches the tongue and the mouth with it. And Carl is in heaven, mewling loudly and grinding back against Negan's face before the contact is broken.

"Easy, girl. I don't wanna rush this, I'm gonna savour it." Fingers dip into Carl's pussy, spreading his lips and releasing even more juices before the tongue laps them up, accompanied by vibrating moans and a hand gripping the flesh of the boy's thigh. Negan starts to pump his fingers slowly, thunb circling the nub. "If you ever, _ever_ , get this wet again... you send someone to get me and I will be right in as fast as I can to clean ya up, you understand? You never touch yourself unless I say so, no one else does this for you, you're mine. Got it? _Mine_."

"Yes," Carl wheezes a little, adjusting his footing."

Negan keeps going, never letting Carl get too close to that high that the boys wanta to reach before pulling away. Carl is getting impatient, thighs trembling again as the man brushes his finger tips over the head of teen's cock. 

"N-Negan, please-"

"I think I'm done for the day." Negan moves away, losing all contact with the whimpering mess that Carl is, and stands tall, pulling on his boxers.

"H-huh?" Carl almost breaks into tears.

Negan pats Carl's thighs gently and rubs them, kissing the boy's neck. "I'll help you out later, baby boy. Gonna go deal with some stuff, you can make yourself at home in my room. Don't go findin' any of your friends again." The man leaves, leaving the boy shaking and wanting.

Carl cleans up his thighs and gets dressed before wandering, twisting the bottom of his shirt around his fingers. He talks to some people, avoids some other people, and settles in the kitchen with the nice ladies who are cooking. They talk to him about being close with Negan and he doesn't lie, telling them Negan is a better father at the moment than his real father. Which is a bit fucked up considering Carl is almost 100% on letting Negan take his virginity. Maybe. Possibly. He's still debating.


	18. Like Alice Fell Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long but important???

For the next few days, Negan consults Carl on a lot of stuff regarding Sanctuary and trading with other encampments. Small stuff at first but it expands to fill decisions until eventually, Negan starts directing people to Carl to help make choices. Carl can't complain either. He trusts Negan in trusting him, and after Negan took care of the state he left Carl in a few days ago, the boy is willing to do pretty much anything.

Carl spends his free time reading or helping out around sanctuary. He cooks, cleans, helps tailor clothing. Anything to keep his mind off the fact that he actually feels safe here, under Negan's watch. People respect him and his opinion, they don't treat him like a child even though he's just barely not one.

"Another day without any interruptions. We get shit done when your dad is makin' me wanna kill him," Negan comments after a little meeting with some people, closing the bedroom door.

"Yeah, he seems to delay stuff more than he spurrs it on." Carl sits on the couch and puts his feet on the table, rubbing his eyes. He's not so nervous anymore, finally. He can relax and not feel like Lucille is aimed at his head permanently.

Negan takes his boots off, stripping down to his T-shirt and jeans. "You ever gonna wear that hat again?" he asks, pointing at the sheriff hat that has been resting on the end of the table for a few days.

"Maybe. I sorta wanna get rid of it, y'know? It was my dad's and it just bugs me." Carl kicks the hat off the table and it lands in the corner, out of sight.

Negan smiles and picks Carl up with ease before sitting the boy back down in his lap, a hand tangled in Carl's hair idly as he rests his head back against the could. "I think we should pay a visit to them soon, don't you? Check in on their progress of finding me stuff, let you see your little sister again. Just a check in, I won't smash any pumpkins."

Carl gets a bit nervous but doesn't let it linger, leaning in to press a kiss to Negan's lips. "Alright, tomorrow? Or...?"

"Tomorrow. You need to get out of here every once and while, can't keep you locked away in my fuckin' castle." Negan grips Carls cheek with a firm hand and kisses him again, with tongue this time.

Carl readjusts to straddle Negan, arms wrapped around the man's neck as they kiss. Carl pressed closer, forming his body to Negan's and pressing his hips down.

"Mm, easy, killer. You keep doing that and it's gonna get harder for me not to want to fuck you," Negan warns lowly, his hands sliding down Carl's back.

"You can want it. I want you to want it. Want you to fuck me." Carl pushes Negan's shirt up eagerly but the bigger male's fingers close around his wrists.

"Carl, you don't gotta prove any loyalty to me by doing this. If you're not ready, you're not ready. Givin' me your virginity isn't gonna change the way I look at you." Negan paused. "Well it is 'cause every time I look at you I'm gonna see myself between this sweet thighs, but you know what I mean."

Carl holds Negan's jaw with both hands, locking their eyes. "I know. I want to. I want to show you that I trust you all the way."

Negan smiles a warm smile and picks Carl up by his thighs, laying him on the bed and kneeling between his legs. "I'm gonna do this right if I'm gonna do it. You're not losin' your virginity on a couch," he says, pressing hot kisses under Carl's jaw and along his neck, elicting moans from the boy's lips. Negan's fingers make quick work of Carl's flannel and bunch up the bottom of his shirt, pulling it all off at once before leaning down to lick over the near hardened nipples. He starts to undo Carl's jeans and then stops. "What do you want?"

"You...?" Carl laughs softly, face flushed.

"No. What _me_ do you want? You want rough and controllin' Negan, or do you want 'it's your first time' Negan?"

"The second one. For now. Rough Negan came come later." Carl says and slides his jeans off, skin prickling and warming as Negan's callused hands rub his thighs and knees.

Negan removes Carl's boxers and then sits back, eyes looking over the pale boy in front of him. "You're so damn beautiful, baby boy. All for me." He kisses down Carl's stomach and hips, briefly stopping to suck on the boy's cock to get it hard before diving lower. "Where are we doing this, baby? Girl virginity or boy?"

Carl didn't really think about that, his brain fizzling as he feels Negan nip and kiss his inner thighs. "Ah... Girl today. Boy tomorrow or another day."

"Or later tonight after you've gotten over how great I'm gonna fuck you," Negan says smugly, tongue drawing teasing circles around Carl's clit before he dives in, hands hooked around the brunette's thighs to keep him in place.

Carl is a panting mess in seconds, one hand in Negan's hair and the other gripping the sheets as he tries not to make too much noise. That becomes harder and harder as Negan pushes two fingers into him and manages to aim straight for Carl's sweet spot, hammering his fingers against it repeatedly. "Oh oh oh - ah! N-Negan, fuck, I'm gonna cum!"

"Good. That's the plan. Girls are supposed to come before they get fucked, makes for better lubrication," Negan purrs, putting emphasis on the last word which makes Carl snort. "Now cum for me, baby. Cum so I can fill you up with my dick in stead of my fingers." He uses his free hand to rub at Carl's clit, sending Carl over the edge and into an orgasm that knocks the noise right out of him. Negan keeps the boy's hips pinned down, chuckling.

"What's so f-funny?" Carl asks hoarsely, pushing his hair out of his face.

Negan shakes his head as he pulls his shirt off finally. "Nothin', baby. Just that you buck like a bull when you cum and it's the hottest thing I've ever fuckin' seen." He kisses Carl passionately, the taste of Carl's juices still on his lips as he fiddles with his own jeans and boxers, eventually kicking them off.

It's then that Carl is reminded how big Negan is and he whimpers at the weight against his thigh, pulling away to look down at the half hard cock. "That's not gonna fit in me," he breathes, looking back up to Negan's face only to see him staring back with soft eyes.

"I'm gonna go real slow, okay? I obviously don't wanna break you and it'll hurt a little. Slap me if you want me to pull out and pull my hair if you want me to stop movin'." Negan kisses Carl and it distracts him, barely registering that Negan is pumping himself to full hardness. The head of Negan's cock bumps Carl's clit gently, a subtle warning, and the boy spreads his thighs a bit more, taking a deep breath.

Carl holds the back of Negan's neck and bites down on his lip hard, back arching as he feels the man push into him slowly. It's definitely a stretch, more than Carl's fingers ever made, and it makes him tense up.

"Hey, hey you can't do that, doll." Negan rubs Carl's hips and stomach. "Don't get tense, it's gonna hurt more." 

Carl nods and tries to relax, leaning back against the bed and closing his eyes. He feels Negans lips on his neck and he shifts his hips up. "Move. Please."

Negan obeys, hips pressing forward until as much of his cock is in Carl as the boy can take. Carl is shaking, an arm locked around Negan's neck and his thighs squeezing the man's ribs tightly. Negan starts a soft pace, pulling out a little and then pushing back in. Eventually, he starts full strokes, hitching one of Carl's thighs up his waist.

"So good, baby. So fuckin' _tight_ around me. Feel good?" Negan grunts, his other hand right next to Carl's head.

Carl nods, the pain subsiding until he's mewling and dragging his nails down Negan's chest. "G-good, Negan. Good. Harder, I-I can handle it. Keep talking, makes me wetter."

"I can feel that." Negan rests their foreheads together and moves faster, pressing deeper, and even though Carl can't take it all he takes a good amount, broken moans leaving his lips every time he fills up. Negan moves a hand to Carl's waist. "Tight around my cock, baby. Tight and wet and warm. Best pussy I've ever had."

"Dirty talk is weak." Carl smirks and kisses Negan, rocking his hips with the rhythm.

"Oh shut the fuck up, kid. When I can fuck you without being scared to hurt you, you'll hear a lot worse." Negan laughs though, hips moving even more.

It takes a while but Carl eventually cums around Negan's cock, cheeks flushing when the man pulls out and cums on his hips. Then they lay next to each other, Carl breathless but smiling.

"Good first time?" Negan questions.

"Best first time ever. Sorry if I was quiet, you kinda took my breath away," Carl curls into Negan's side, kissing his shoulder.

"Don't apologize, doll. It was hot, seeing you all stretched out on my cock and so blissed out sometimes you looked like you weren't even here." Negan kisses Carl's temple, cupping his ass in a comforting way. "Sleep in bed with me?"

Carl looks up and realises that he hasn't slept with Negan yet. He nods and kisses the man's jaw. "Definitely. From now on, I wanna sleep next to you."

Oh god. Carl is falling hard and fast and with no end in sight. And he loves it.


	19. Zero Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of talk about non-con, more just dirty talk

Carl wakes before Negan does, the sun just barely rising outside the window, and he looks up at the man sleeping next to him, his face at peace and hus muscles relaxed. Well, most of them. Negan's cock is hard and obvious under the soft sheets, twitching occasionally from whatever dream he's having.

Carl leans up on his arm. "Negan?" he whispers and when he gets no answer, he wraps his hand around Negan's dick and strokes gently. He tastes the precum on his fingers and slides onto Negan's thighs, pressing two fingers into himself. After stretching himself a bit, he slides down on Negan's cock.

The man's hands grip Carl's thighs suddenly, his head tilting back. "Fuck, _oh_ _fuck_. What're you-"

"You were hard, I thought you might like this. Good wake up." Carl blushes and swallows a little. "W-was I wrong?"

"Nuh uh. Bounce on my cock, sweetie, lemme see you work for it," Negan says and rocks up into Carl a few times before going still.

Carl does as he's told, rolling his hips and rocking against Negan eagerly. His hair falls in his face but Negan pushes and holds it back, leaning up to suck bruises along Carl's neck and chest, free arm wrapped around the boy's waist.

This feels a lot better than it did yesterday, with little to no painful stretch and no awkward first time jitters. Carl is still unpracticed, his rocking uneven, but Negan shows him how. He grips Carl's hips and slows him to a soft grind, grinning when he gets the hang of it.

"Thatta girl," Negan teases, laying back and putting his hands behind his head. "Gimme a little show."

Carl rolls his eyes but leans back, rocking so he slides up and down a Negan's cock with ease. He can almost take it all now, struggling with the last inch or so but it's still progress. He watches as Negan watches, the man's eyes dark and locked on to where his cock is encased in Carl's pussy. "Like this?" Carl asks dumbly, knowing damn well he's doing great just from the way Negan twitches inside him. "Am I doing it right?"

Negan tuts, one hand gripping Carl's chest as he pulls himself into a seated position with the boy still on his lap. "Don't play dumb, baby girl. You know how good you're doing. You know your cunt is gonna get filled with my cock every night, right? I'm gonna take you whether you're in the mood or not, gonna sit you on my dick and make you cum until you can't, and maybe even a little after. That sound good to you, hm? Daddy taking you even if you're tired and all fucked out."

Carl whimpers and nods, hips stuttering in their pace as he squeezes around Negan's shaft. "Y-yeah you can do that. We should have a - _uhn, fuck_ \- safe word just in case I really don't want to."

Negan halts Carl's hips, face going serious. "Your pick."

"How about..." Carl's eyes scan the room and land on the bat that's leaned against the couch, looking back to Negan, "Lucille."

Negan nods, smirking. "Lucille it is. Safe word for anything, okay?"

Carl nods and whines, giving a little bounce before going back to rocking. Soft pants escape him as he finally takes the last inch, thighs shaking as he just grinds in place and buries his face against the older male's neck, blissed out.

"Alright, no one's gonna cum just from this," Negan chuckles, lifting Carl up and thrusting into him forcefully while holding his hips. "Did good, kid, but slow and steady ain't gonna make me fill up your pussy any faster."

Carl nods and clings to Negan, unable to stop his moans, and eventually he cums around the man's cock with a soft cry and hard shiver. Negan grunts and cums inside Carl, slipping out of him and holding him in place to watch as the brunette leaks on his hips.

"Fuck, baby girl. Can I clean you up?" 

"Don't gotta ask to do that," Carl laughs and lays back, thighs spread for Negan's shoulders.

"I'm gonna ask to do everythin' for a little while, just in case you want to say no and change your mind about this. Eventually I'll get to just pushin' you over and eatin' you out." Negan pulls Carl to the edge of the bed, getting to work. He makes Carl cum two more times before finally stopping and getting dressed.

Carl looks at himself in the mirror, touching the finger bruises on his hips and the bites on his neck. "My dad is gonna shoot you as soon as he sees this."

"Not if you stand in front of me," Negan says and slips behind Carl, arms around his waist. "Won't shoot his son."

"I'm not sure about that." Carl kisses Negan's jaw and finds clothes,  pulling them on hastily.

"You think your dad would shoot you?" Negan questions.

Carl shrugs, looking over at the hat on the ground. "I think he'll think me not telling you to get off and go fuck yourself is a betrayal and I'm not on his side anymore. I'm not on anyone's side. I'm a neutral party, I just want people to be safe."

Negan holds Carl's chin and pulls his gaze away from the hat. "I know you do. I know I can be harsh on my business partners, but none of them will get hurt anymore, knowin' it'll hurt you," he assured the boy with a kiss on the forehead. Carl doesn't plan on holding that to him, knowing Negan would do his business the way he wanted. 

The door opens and Dwight swings in, a little taken aback by the oddly intimate scene. "We got guests."

"Who?" Negan questions impatiently.

"Alexandria."

"Zero days with incident," Negan whispers in Carl's ear, tugging him out the door.


	20. Coin

Carl sees his dad before his dad sees him, his jaw tightening at how unbothered and rested Rick looks. If his dad gave a shit, why didn't he look miserable or worried or even a little sad? Sure, Carl has said he had things under control but he figured Rick would at least look like this was tearing him apart. Carl slid his hand into Negan's. "Don't let go." 

Negan glances down and gives a squeeze to Carl's hand. "Not a chance." He puts on his smirk and lifts Lucille to his shoulder. "Well if it isn't my favorite pain in the ass. How's is going, Rick? You got shit for me yet?"

Rick's eyes flicker to their hands and he starts forward. "Get your hands off-"

"Answer him," Carl interrupts, making an effort to lean into Negan's side and wrap his arms around the man's arm.

"You brain washin' him or something?!" Rick explains, going for his gun at his belt. He pulls it out quickly and aims straight for Negan's chest, but Carl steps in front and the gun is now aimed at his head. "Move, Carl."

"No."

Rick's finger twitches on the trigger, arms not dropping and eyes not leaving Negan's.

"You gonna shoot me, _Dad_?" Carl sneers. "Really? Your own son? I mean it wouldn't surprise me, I've been a bit of an ass lately, but I don't think I deserve to get shot."

"Move, Carl," Rick repeats, harsher this time.

"Why? 'Cause you said so and I'm supposed to listen to you, right? Son listens to his father and does what he says with undying loyalty. Well you fucking lost that loyalty because it doesn't even look like you've lost any sleep over me being here. I know I said I could handle this, and I am... I mean no one's died since I've been here. So I must be doing something right." 

Rick drops his arms, rubbing a hand over his face. "What do you want from me, Carl?! Do you want me to trust you or to save you?"

"I want you to realise this isn't gonna get solved by you putting a bullet through his head. I want you to look worried for me, I want you to show some signs of trying to get me out of here, not that I want to leave. I get warm baths, good food, and as of last night I get fucked. And before any of that, I was trusted to be his second in command and to help make decisions for his people. That feels nice, to be appreciated." Carl shrugs.

Negan nudges Carl aside, chuckling. "You're sick, kid. Who's side are you on?"

"No sides, remember. Neutral party."

"Sure as shit doesn't sound like it!" Daryl yells from the truck, leaning on it as he glares at one of Negan's men.

Negan kisses Carl's forehead and turns to Rick, sighing heavily. "He's right. Little respect and trust does wonders for a person's sanity. You still treat him like a child, though, don't you? He can't make a lot of decisions for himself because he's only just barely 18 and needs to learn," the man mocks.

"You don't know shit about my kid," Rick says lowly.

"I know he was basically raised in this world. I know he likes iced tea and homemade pizza. I know how _sweet_ and _pathetic_  he sounds when he's sitting on my dick, asking me how he's doing. And I know he fuckin' hates you at the moment." Negan tilts his head, a few feet away from Rick. "And I know when we're done here I'm gonna take him back to my room, make him put on that nice little sheriffs hat you gave him, and make him scream my name until he can't remember his."

Rick lunges fast but Negan is faster, knocking the gun to the side a shot rings out and as he shoved Rick onto his back, Lucille just barely ghosting his chin.

"You're startin' to irritate me, Rick. This ain't about Carl anymore, okay? It's about you not doing the _fuckin' job_ I asked you to do. All I ask is you get me some cool or useful shit, that's it. Not too hard to do. A little risk? Sure. But no risk, no reward. And I reward those who do what I ask them to do."

Rick looks to Carl who had barely moved and is watching this play out. "Fine. I'll get you your shit. Gimme my boy."

"Oh no, we're past bargaining and he already did that for you. Better than you, too." Negan backs away, kicking the gun to Daryl's feet with a warning look. "My boys are gonna get you back in your truck and you're gonna go back to your little town. Get. Me. My. Shit."

Carl lets his eyes linger in his father for a second, a tiny glimpse of 'I'm sorry' on his face before he turns and follows Negan. He's almost unable to hold in his smile, shutting the door and leaning against it once they're back in the room. "Is it bad that I liked having some control over that situation?"

Negan shakes his head, tossing Lucille on the couch and stripping his jacket and shirt off. "No, not bad at all, baby girl. My little serial killer." He lifts Carl's jaw and presses their lips together in a wet kiss, grabbing the boy's ass and lifting him.

They fuck three times until Carl blurts out a strained "Lucille" when Negan goes to continue for a fourth round. They collapse next to each other, a knot of sweaty limbs and half of clothes.

"I'm gonna break you and I haven't even been playin' with you for that long," Negan grunts, both arms wrapped tightly around Carl and his hands kneading the brunette's ass.

"Mm, don't do that. I like this." Carl presses into Negan. This is nice. The warmth, the safety, even the soreness in his lower area.

Negan rubs Carl's lower back. "Hey baby?"

"Mhm?"

"Do you actually trust me or is this just you keepin' your family safe?"

Carl looks up at Negan, eye blinking. "A bit of both. Part of me tries to justify this by saying I'm only doing this for them, to keep them safe. But a bigger part of me actually enjoys this. Besides, if I really didn't trust you I wouldn't have ever let you take my virginity. Even if I was faking."

Negan nods and pulls Carl tighter against him. "So I know your pussy is sore but you just make me hard all the time..."

"You'll have to go slow again." Carl rolls onto his front though, wiggling out of Negan's hold. He raises his ass just a little, sheets sliding over it.

"Aw c'mon now, don't tease," Negan groans and grabs something from the bedside table before kneeling behind Carl. "You wanna do this from behind?"

Carl nods, glancing back at Negan. "Yeah. We haven't done this position yet."

Negan chuckles and kisses the base of Carl's spine before the boy hears a soft click. Then, two cold, slick fingers brush over his hole before one slides in a little. "Good?" the man checks and gets a nod whichs spurs him on to push it further. He starts to move it slowly, his other hand on Carl's ass cheek. "This is definitely one of my favorite sights so far."

"Ah! Well I'm glad," Carl manages to breath before he grips the sheets at the feeling of another finger pressing against the entrance. He relaxes a little and moans once it's in him, toes curling. " _F-fuck_ , Negan."

"That's what I like to hear." Negan speeds up his fingers, even so slowly working Carl open before pulling his fingers out and rubbing the boy's back. "Okay baby, I'm gonna try now. Need you to relax for me or it's gonna be painful."

Carl nods obediently and tightens his grip on the sheets, back arched as his knees shake a little. "Okay. I can do that." He listens as Negan shuffles behind him. He feels the man's cock briefly brush his pussy before sliding up, head at his hole.

"Ready? I want you to sit back on me, okay? Take your time, go slow. Want you to be in control."

Carl whines a little, not having anticipated doing this, but starts to push back gently. It's definitely painful and unpleasant, but he stops every few seconds to adjust before moving some more. The low groans of Negan behind him drive him to please until his thighs are flush against the older man's and the room is silent aside from their breathing.

"You okay?" Negan whispers, not moving other than to soothing carress Carl's waist. "Want me to move or do you want to?"

"I-I will." Carl leans down a little, chest almost against the sheets as he pulls off Negan's cock and then pushes back on. He does this a few times, strained whimpers leaving his lips as he listens to Negan swear, before nodding. "Go ahead, I'm good."

Negan runs a hand down Carl's spine and holds the back of his neck, other hand holding his hips, before he ruts his hips forward and drives himself back into the brunette suddenly. Both of them moan, though Carl's is more broken and pitchy than the rough one Negan gives. The man does it again and again before working up a steady pace and rocking into the boy on his cock.

"Oh fuck, fuck this is so good, Negan. So good, so big," Carl pants, burying his face in the pillow as sweat runs down his body and slick rolls down his thighs from his cunt.

"I'm glad, baby. Glad you like being fucked on my fat cock. I'd never let you leave it if that was an option ," Negan growls, slappint Carl's ass gently and speeding up his hips.

They cum together in the end, Carl tightening and shuddering while Negan just grips the boy's hips hard and lets out broken gasps. When they're laying next to each other, Carl twines their fingers together.

"You know how you always call me a little serial killer?"

"Mhm, I do." Negan moves to his side, arm slipping around Carl's waist.

"What do you mean by it?"


End file.
